"He's a nice guy".
"She's cute".
"He has a good job".
"She has a good heart".
Almost always, all of these phrases are the kiss of death when it comes to dating. Eventually, after you get older and some dating standards change, these qualities move up in importance when looking for a mate; but initially these phrases will cause you to have many free Friday and Saturday nights.
I know from experience! When I stopped always trying to be a "nice guy"- I became a "serial dater". What flipped the switch? I developed ridges!
What commercials do you remember most? The ones that are different. The ones that stand out. They are funny or provocative in some way. They connect because they give you something to hang onto. They have ridges.
I once worked with a morning show that had some success in the ratings, but it was mostly due to the type of music we played and not because of their ability to entertain. I'm not taking anything away from them, they are talented, but they didn't give the audience anything to really hang onto. They lacked ridges. When we took them off the air, there were a handful of listeners that were upset. I got emails from people telling me that I suck at my job because I ruined their drive to work; only to call their "favorite" show by the wrong name. Or they called to vent that I took away the only show that they listened to "every morning"; 3 weeks after I took it off the air. Favorite? Every morning? When you are compelling, you have ridges and you are memorable.
After a date, girls (and guys too) will go back and tell others about you and one of these two stories will be told. 1) You are an amazing person and you have so many things in common. 2). It was the worst date ever. Both have ridges. The dates in between these two anchors get one sentence and it’s something like, "It was fine". That line is usually followed up by a lack of returned calls, you’re placed in the "friend zone" and given no dating referrals to another single friend of theirs. Being good looking isn't a ridge and won't get you much beyond a swipe right on Tinder. Having love handles are not the greatest ridges either (I speak from experience). Having memorable ridges will allow you to make an impression.
If you are smooth and watered down, then you give others no ridges to grab onto. They fly past you in the river of life, never to gain any knowledge of who you are or what you can accomplish. They don't have things that they can tell others about you. We all want to be memorable and in order to do that, we need ridges. #Tryharder to recognize and embrace your ridges. Know that if you walk through life afraid to offend, make an ass of yourself or showcase your abilities; you will get overlooked. You will be forgettable. You were not put on this earth to be forgettable and the only thing stopping you from being memorable is you.
