Maybe it’s just me?

My life has been a series of giving in order to get. I cannot seem to move forward or get ahead, unless I leave something behind. These offerings need to have meaningful, or at least perceived to be, at the time. I tried to look up the meaning of this, like the scientific name or buzzword, but all I got was a bunch of inspirational quotes that could be used for a poster that hangs on the wall of your 2nd grade class. A quote that would be accompanied with a picture of a kitten dangling from a tree hoping to not fall. You know the poster I am talking about...#hanginthere

Could be my catholic upbringing that makes me feel like this?  Waiting for the other shoe to drop? Confessing something to get ahead or at least forgiveness? Every year for lent I give up something I would miss or at least be slightly irritated that I cannot have for 40 days. It’s almost always food related. I did try to give up swearing one year and it lasted about 45 minutes before I dropped my first run of swear words. I then decided to go ahead and give up fried food instead. Saying no to Colonel Sanders is easier than saying no to the “F” word. Both are fun and satisfying in their own little way and both are frowned upon in certain social situations. (Both are not cool to bring to church).

Perhaps it’s just the balance of life and you cannot let new things into your life unless you let something go. Most of the time, you just can’t grow unless you release something. It takes oxygen to turn a spark into a flame and it takes distance and rejection of fear to fuel the growth of something new.

Time for oversharing!  It was my senior year in college and I was just trying to finish. Without a doubt, I drug myself to the graduation finish line. I was taking a full load of college classes, working full time and trying to maintain a social life.  I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that I ate dinner at midnight almost every night, for the exception of the evenings that I had an emcee gig after midnight (that usually ran till closing time). I slept four hours a night and took early 7am and 8am classes for the last 18 months I was in college. I even attended summer classes just to graduate in four years. I worked sixty hours a week (only getting paid for forty) and had very little time to breathe. I was young, so I could maintain the stamina, but there was nothing healthy about my lifestyle. The only vegetables I ate were the ones placed on a taco or burger that I got from the drive thru. Whataburger tomatoes kept me alive.  I got sick at one point and had a doctor tell me to quit work or school, because I was not living a healthy life.  High blood pressure, etc. I told him “no” and he then suggested I take up golf—not knowing how competitive or obsessed I can be at times. Terrible idea.  With all that, I still made solid grades and had an active social and dating life. My dating life is what was trying to kill me. Kissing a girl trumped sleeping, studying, eating and everything else.  Crazy to think that there were times I went 2-3 days in a row without any real sleep.  I’d like to add that I still don’t drink coffee and have yet to take a drug in my life. My college lifestyle was pure adrenaline and FOMO.

So I made a deal with God. Told him I would give up certain activities with the opposite sex if he would help me get out of college and onto the next step in my career. Part of the deal was that the next girl I “got serious” with (like the R Rated kind of serious) would be a girl that I truly cared about and wanted to be with. In less than 3 months after I graduated college, I was hired by another radio company and moved away to Little Rock; which was a big step in my career. Six months after that, I met the girl who is now my wife of 18+ years. It worked out and because of that, I continue to make deals with God.

You have to let something go to make room for something better.

I’ve removed toxic people from my heart in order to make way for better and healthier friends. One of the most eye-opening times of my life was the 115 days I spent unemployed. You’d be surprised how many one-sided relationships you have when you give yourself a moment to take inventory of your life.  This is a difficult purge and way more internally heartbreaking than removing friends from your social media accounts. It can also be done quieter and less dramatically than posting about your upcoming purge on Facebook. I think its eye-rolling hilarious and desperate when people announce that they are about to purge friends unless others respond to a meme that the intended people will likely never see. Grow up. Stop being silly. You’re only “friends” with about a dozen people that are on your socials. The rest are just there so you can post pictures in an attempt to make them jealous and want your life. Oh, and the strange relatives that feel the need to post unrelated and often personal things on your page. In a nutshell, that’s who’s on your page. Don’t bother arguing with me on this…I am right. Hahaha…

I’ve given up more money or passed on raises in order to get a longer and ideally more secure contracts. We give up fried foods to make way for healthier foods and possibly a loss in weight.  You do burpees at the gym and it not because you love them. You have to get out of your bubble or comfort zone in order to see and experience more. You have to leave home and challenge your fears in order to grow.

If you want to soar and free yourself of your earthly limitations, you must #Tryharder to leave the ground.  Create distance.  Pull up your roots. Make room. Take a chance. You have to dare yourself to move and with that moment comes new experiences, education, and a change of perspective. You need to create distance and adjust space for potentially “more” in life.

That kitten from the poster that continues to “hang in there” would learn, that if he just let go, cats always land in their feet.