The world has a short term memory.

If you have ever been in a situation where you just can't shuck a perception or you are guilty of doing something memorable, for all the wrong reasons, and you just can't change their opinion of you? Just wait. The world has a short term memory and an incredible case of ADD.
No matter how hard we try in life to do the right thing, be the best person and try not to screw up-it happens. Like a bad nickname that attaches itself to you in college or the time you accidentally farted in a room full of people, louder than you thought it was going to come out, you get attached to a negative. My whole career, I've been too young to do this and too young to do that, only to find myself, time and time again, to be the oldest person in the room or presumed to be out of touch by a younger generation. The time it takes to be in the target demographic to then be out of the target demographic seems to go by in what seems like hours. You're a kid one day and then you're too old. There will never be an in between or a sweet spot; life deals in extremes.

Need examples of how forgiving and forgetful we are?  Look no further than the tabloids. Paris Hilton and her boyfriend had sex on camera and soon after she was hosting the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards. Hue Grant got caught with a hooker and later became the object of affection for tons of women just a movie or two later.  Alec Baldwin calls his daughter a pig and continues to receive awards for being a humanitarian.  Kim Kardashian turned her adult film into a multimillion dollar company and we buy anything and everything she is attached to. Our own (former) President had an affair and yet 10s of thousands of people would pay to hear him speak in public. Iron Man used to be a coke addict. I can keep going!  We forgive and forget. Maybe not forget as much as some of us would like to have things forgotten, but these things are forgotten enough to allow these people to grow and move on. The good news is that you are nowhere near as famous as these people. You can be relieved that your grandmother won't have to explain as much during her bridge club-it's not like to you shaved your head and beat up a car with an umbrella right?  Right?!

Make a scene at the company Christmas party and smack too many people on the ass?  Don't worry!  All you have to do is wait it out! As employees and bosses cycle out of your office, you could eventually find yourself head of the HR department for the entire company and not one person will have been employed at the time you did it. Your story might live on in the minds of your former co-workers, but nobody will be the wise to the legend of the Christmas part of 2009 because they weren’t even there.

Take solace in the fact that the majority of the people who out rank you in your career have done some truly despicable things prior to becoming your employer. I am no saying that all managers are bad or have a sketchy past, but I am saying that I have done this long enough and in enough places to watch people, who I know to have done some jaw dropping things, climb the ladder of success.

Know that the guy that used to hook up with every girl in college and spent every night drinking himself silly; not to mention cheated off the girl next to him in class, is now successfully working in politics and might one day hold a major office. Maybe I know him? Maybe I’ll get some hush money when he runs for President? Haha!

Know that the girl that was a complete mess in college and basically hooked up with every member of the football, basketball and baseball team, is now a high school guidance counselor and is married to the local preacher. Maybe I dated her? Haha!

All you need is time. Time heals all things. Time helps to kill nicknames, perceptions and mistakes. Time allows you the room for growth, to learn from those mistakes and gives you the necessary space to move on.  Sometimes you just have to outlast the people who hold those perceptions or know where the skeletons are buried.

Knowing this about time does not give you the green light to do terrible things. Understand that these things you have possibly done or things you are perceived to be can live on like an STD. Yet, like most of those diseases, people don't know that you have them.   You do though and that means that perception is like herpes. Sometimes you deserve herpes and sometimes you got it on accident. (I can’t believe I wrote that paragraph either. Haha!)

#Tryharder not to use time as your scapegoat for being a horrible person, but rest your head at night knowing that whatever moment you are dealing with will eventfully pass. Most will forget whatever it is and you will come out of it stronger and possibly wiser because even "pee pee pants" from 3rd grade can marry the prom queen.

They say you have one job as a father of a girl and that is to keep her off the pole, but there are a lot more important things in life than just that...

My daughter Erin just received an award from her school for her outstanding character. The recipients of this award are chosen by the other kids in the class and there are only a handful of children in the school that receive this acknowledgment each year. In the elementary world, this is a big deal. Her classmates stood up in front of a large room, filled with the whole 3rd grade, parents and faculty, and presented my 9 year old superstar with this award.

As I listened to her classmates stand in front of a room full of people and talk about my Erin I began to tear up and my heart filled with love. By the way, according to my doctor, love might come in the form of cholesterol, but regardless I was ecstatic as the children read the words that continue to confirm that my daughter is an amazing person. Beautiful inside and out. They spoke of her leadership and how the other kids looked up to her, not just because of her dynamic personality, but because of the calm and logic she brings to any situation as well as her huge heart.

As a parent you have an idea of what kind of kid you are raising, but till you see them as their peers see them, you never truly know who they are or how they are perceived. Yes, you have a relationship with your child, but it's different when you get to experience it through the eyes of others.

There are blinded parents who believe that their little Johnny is an amazing kid. "He's just his mamas little angel". Yet, Johnny has been over to your house or you've seen him when his parents are not around and have witnessed the real Johnny that emerges when he's allowed to be himself. Johnny is a dick. Mom and dad have no idea.

When Erin was 4 years old my wife was student teaching and we had to put both kids in daycare out of necessity. The school was taking many of the kids out to a farm for a field trip and they invited me to come along. After my first school bus ride in many years, we arrived at the farm and the kids poured out into a play area and proceeded to go crazy. I sat back and watched my daughter play and communicate with all her fellow students. This was the first time I got to see her interact with her classmates and I wanted to see who my daughter was in the group. Was she the crazy one? The funny one? The moody one? The naughty one? The one that played by herself? She was none of those children.

She was the leader. As they played, kid after kid ran up to Erin just to tell her what they were doing or ask who they should play with next. I've never seen anything like it. Cool and collected, like a military General, she ran the playground. When kids were being bad, she corrected them. When kids needed advice, she gave it to them. At 4 years old and probably the shortest kid in the group, my Erin was the queen of the playground. It was amazing. And here we are, 5 years later, watching my Erin accept an award based on her leadership and the respect she has earned from the other students.

If I accomplish nothing else in life, it's that my children will be kind and compassionate. I hope that they will be respected and looked up to because they are good people. They will have the lives that others want to emulate and they will be able to fall asleep at night knowing that they did their best with what they had. They will care about the betterment of others and will #Tryharder to not be selfish with their heart or time. What they do professionally matters little to me, just as long as they turn out to be good people who do the right thing. That is all I have tried to do in life and despite the challenges that accompany this way of thinking, I can rest my head at night knowing that I did my best to do the right thing and hopefully earn the respected of others in the process.   I hope my children (and maybe you) #Tryharder to do the same.

I gave up dairy for lent this year.

Every year, for the duration of lent, I give up something. Most of my deductions are food related and in years past I have given up excessive calories (anything over 2000), sugar, carbs, grains (beer was the target there) and fried food. One year I gave up swearing, but that lasted about 4 hours.

I'm not a good Catholic at all, but I figure that doing this might make up for the fact that I only go to church on average a few times a year. I used to be good when I was a kid. I was an altar boy for about 10 years at Good Shepard Catholic Church. I could ring a bell, mix water and wine and help to keep the service under 50 minutes. I've spent more Sundays up behind an altar, than I have sitting with the congregation. On the few times that I go to church each year, I spend most of my time mouthing along to the words that I still know by heart and critiquing the priest and altar boys on how they conduct the service. If a priest can't get mass done in less than 50 minutes it means he's milking it. If the altar boys don't move fluidly between their tasks, then they need to step up their game.

Most of the priests I served with always seems like they had somewhere to be after the service. They handled their business and got the congregation in and out of church, after having a post mass coffee and donut, in about an hour. Almost every service I've been to since seems to drag on with all the singing and the extra stuff. This isn't the reason I don't go to church or why I'm not that good of a Catholic, but it's not encouraging me either. I want my experience to be simple, cleansing and informative. I don't want a rock band or a bunch of people singing solos. Give me a message that connects, a few chanting style songs, shake some hands, take communion and let me bounce. That's what I want and I want it in less than an hour.

When I was a kid, the thing that brought my family back to the church was the death of my little brother Jimmy. After his passing, my dad felt we needed to get back into it and he made sure we went almost every Sunday. First communions and confirmations were knocked off the “to do” list and Michael and I became altar boys. When Michael became old enough to drive us to church, my parents stopped going and would just send some money for the plate along with us. After Michael started seeing this one girl, I started to attend church alone; as he would just drop me off and go make out with her for an hour. Not always, but it happened. After I went away to college, my attendance faded as it was harder for me to get up on Sunday morning after going to bed around 4am. Yes, I've attended church with a buzz and I've gone in an attempt to win a girl or two over. No, I'm not ashamed.

As an adult, I don't go for two reasons. 1). I am still working through some stuff on my own regarding the death of Michael and 2). I haven't had that "moment".

Each time I attend mass I listen to the message and do my best to take it in and listen for ways to relate to it or incorporate it into my life. I look for some common ground and hope to hear the flip of a switch in my head as the message helps me deal with something that I am currently working out in life. I just need to relate. It doesn't need to always fix my problems, it just needs to make some relatable eye contact. Not since the death of my brother and the service prior to his burial, 3 years ago, have I heard a light switch flipping. I just need to hear an invite or opening.

Some would say that if I went more often, then that would increase my chances of making a connection or if I just went to their church, it would all come together. Maybe the first part is true, but only time will tell. As for me coming to your church? Thanks in advance for the invite, but I'm going to pass. I may not be a good Catholic, but I'd like to remain a Catholic. Even if you are Catholic, again, thanks for the invite. Please don't attempt to force something on me, as I am dealing with this on my own and this chapter is not a call for help in any way. Send me the address, maybe I'll add it to my tour of churches, but please don't come knock on my door with a bible in hand.

I look for signs and opportunities in almost everything in life. I may come across as a closed minded Catholic because I don't wish to attend your church or I don't do a good job with attending ones of my own religion, but it's not true. I look for moments of inspiration and welcome new and exciting things into my life. I'm the guy that takes something that might be insignificant and write 1000 words about how it relates to our lives and somewhere in there throw in a #Tryharder message. So, being closed to the world and even religion would not be a fair assessment of me.

I believe in God and I talk to him every day. I believe in my own spirituality and I paid enough attention to the teachings in the bible to know how to interpret right from wrong. Eventually things will click and I will experience or see something that will put it all together for me and I hope it happens like that. I don't want to attend mass for years walking through the motions and checking off church on Sunday like a chore we do on the weekends. Maybe I have unrealistic expectations, but I want my time in life to matter. I know that I could be more giving of my time to the church, but I personally would rather give that time to my family and not a room full of people who might treat church like a chore. When I go, I'm looking for some religious nourishment and not to win a perfect attendance award or turn it into a social gathering. I talk to a lot of people for a living, so there is not a need for me to join in afterwards for coffee I don't drink or donuts that I don't eat because I'm a type 2 diabetic.

Time will tell. This is not an attempt to discourage others from attending church on Sunday or a campaign to get people to see things my way. I do feel religion is important and you need to have a belief in something greater in life. I need to believe that there is a bigger and greater purpose for my brothers and they were brought home for a reason (My brother Michael is probably telling stories and entertaining others from the stage and Jimmy is probably throwing TDs for the Heaven football team Haha). When I attend service, I'm looking and hoping to take something away from the words being spoken and I will hold out hope that one day the questions I have will be answered. Till then, I will #Tryharder to attend mass on Sundays.

Maybe you could do the same?