When I was a kid, I wanted to be the best.
That’s what kids want.
Not just to participate in things, but to be the best. Not just the best at one thing, but the best
at everything. You want to be recognized
for being the best. Win things because
you are the best. My brothers and I
would always compete to see who could throw the football the best, hit the
baseball the farthest and run the fastest.
We competed to be the best and when we realized who was the best at
something, then that kid was labeled as the best and would carry that title
forever.
Not just to participate in things, but to be the best. Not just the best at one thing, but the best
at everything. You want to be recognized
for being the best. Win things because
you are the best. My brothers and I
would always compete to see who could throw the football the best, hit the
baseball the farthest and run the fastest.
We competed to be the best and when we realized who was the best at
something, then that kid was labeled as the best and would carry that title
forever.
“He’s the best
football thrower”.
football thrower”.
You needed to convey that information to the group. That way the other kids would know that he should
be playing QB. If you had an uneven
amount of kids, then the best “thrower” would be expected to play “all time
QB”. I never got to play all time QB
when we were kids because I was the best at tackling.
be playing QB. If you had an uneven
amount of kids, then the best “thrower” would be expected to play “all time
QB”. I never got to play all time QB
when we were kids because I was the best at tackling.
“He’s the best at
running”.
running”.
When other kids challenge your group of friends or family to
a race, you had to designate which kid was going to take on the
challenger. Obviously, all challenges
were met by the kid that was best at running.
a race, you had to designate which kid was going to take on the
challenger. Obviously, all challenges
were met by the kid that was best at running.
You wanted to be the best.
The best gave you respect and bragging rights. The best could be inserted into every
sentence or phrase and make complete sense.
To walk around trying to be the best at everything as an adult is not
only impossible, but a little pretentious don’t you think?
The best gave you respect and bragging rights. The best could be inserted into every
sentence or phrase and make complete sense.
To walk around trying to be the best at everything as an adult is not
only impossible, but a little pretentious don’t you think?
What’s your word?
If you could pick a word that you wanted others to use when
describing you, what would it be? Just
one word. Not a phrase or a list of
adjectives, but one word. You need a
word that would easily define who you are or why you would be appealing to
others who have never met you. Others
cannot give you this word. You have to
be this word, commit to this word and give off the overall vibe of this
word. If you live your life with the
focus of living up to this one word, the word will easily attach itself to you. Not like a nickname, those are given to you
and usually not for the positive things you have done in life.
describing you, what would it be? Just
one word. Not a phrase or a list of
adjectives, but one word. You need a
word that would easily define who you are or why you would be appealing to
others who have never met you. Others
cannot give you this word. You have to
be this word, commit to this word and give off the overall vibe of this
word. If you live your life with the
focus of living up to this one word, the word will easily attach itself to you. Not like a nickname, those are given to you
and usually not for the positive things you have done in life.
My word is GREAT.
I thought about being good, but that’s not enough. Anyone could be good. Terrific is a solid choice too, but I think
great trumps terrific. At least in my
definition of the words. I want to be a
great father. A great husband. A great son and brother. A great friend that anyone would love to
have. I want to be great at life. I want to be greater than the person I was
yesterday.
great trumps terrific. At least in my
definition of the words. I want to be a
great father. A great husband. A great son and brother. A great friend that anyone would love to
have. I want to be great at life. I want to be greater than the person I was
yesterday.
When writing out your goals and visualizing what you want to
be in life you should add your one word to the list. Put it on a sticky note and place it in front
of you at your desk. Leave reminders to
yourself wherever it makes sense and filter your actions in life through your
one word. Like goals, writing it down
helps to make it real. Some people do
this with religion and that’s perfectly fine, but beyond your beliefs, I think
you still need that one defining word.
If you hold yourself to the standard of the meaning of that word, others
will contagiously share that word when describing you.
be in life you should add your one word to the list. Put it on a sticky note and place it in front
of you at your desk. Leave reminders to
yourself wherever it makes sense and filter your actions in life through your
one word. Like goals, writing it down
helps to make it real. Some people do
this with religion and that’s perfectly fine, but beyond your beliefs, I think
you still need that one defining word.
If you hold yourself to the standard of the meaning of that word, others
will contagiously share that word when describing you.
What can be bad about that?
Unless your word is asshole…then I would suggest a different word.
Unless your word is asshole…then I would suggest a different word.
Your children cannot live in bubble wrap.
They will suffocate and die.
It’s a fact, look it up.
It’s a fact, look it up.
When raising kids, you want to do your best to set them on a
healthy course for success and growth.
You want their accomplishments to eclipse anything you have ever done in
life and above all, you don’t want to screw them up. Need an example? Google “keeping your daughter off the
pole”. That should help!
healthy course for success and growth.
You want their accomplishments to eclipse anything you have ever done in
life and above all, you don’t want to screw them up. Need an example? Google “keeping your daughter off the
pole”. That should help!
Your shortcomings or the obstacles you faced in your life
should not get in the way of properly raising your kids. Just because you spent every day of grade
school getting a wedgie, swirly, or stuffed in a locker, doesn’t mean they will
suffer the same fate. You are going to
want to overcompensate for your emotional, and sometimes physical, scars and do
your damndest to ensure that your children don’t experience that same
fate. Yet, at the end of the day, it’s
either going to happen or it’s not. No
amount of road blocking or bubble wrap will prevent the inevitable.
should not get in the way of properly raising your kids. Just because you spent every day of grade
school getting a wedgie, swirly, or stuffed in a locker, doesn’t mean they will
suffer the same fate. You are going to
want to overcompensate for your emotional, and sometimes physical, scars and do
your damndest to ensure that your children don’t experience that same
fate. Yet, at the end of the day, it’s
either going to happen or it’s not. No
amount of road blocking or bubble wrap will prevent the inevitable.
Feeling powerless yet?
Have I pissed you off yet? Keep
reading.
Have I pissed you off yet? Keep
reading.
You put them in private schools to prevent them from getting
bullied. Bullies don’t exist in private
school, so they should be “safe” right?
Whatever. We all know that rich
kids aren’t bullies and it sure is a good thing that bullies don’t exist in
life outside of school! You keep them
away from little league, so they don’t know what it feels like to experience
letdowns or losses in life. Yeah, that’s
healthy? God forbid a baseball hit them
or they skin a knee and they are left with a scar on their once perfect
skin. We all know that scars don’t make
for great stories or serve as badges of honor.
Scars are bad! No kid EVER brags
about scars. Nope. Never.
bullied. Bullies don’t exist in private
school, so they should be “safe” right?
Whatever. We all know that rich
kids aren’t bullies and it sure is a good thing that bullies don’t exist in
life outside of school! You keep them
away from little league, so they don’t know what it feels like to experience
letdowns or losses in life. Yeah, that’s
healthy? God forbid a baseball hit them
or they skin a knee and they are left with a scar on their once perfect
skin. We all know that scars don’t make
for great stories or serve as badges of honor.
Scars are bad! No kid EVER brags
about scars. Nope. Never.
Kids are meant to be loved.
By loving them, you need to expose them to some of the bad in this
world. Certainly not all at once, but
it’s necessary that they consume and experience some bad stuff. If they don’t, they won’t know how to
navigate through the tough times and bumps along the way. You owe it to them. If you shield your children from all of your
personal baggage, they may be forced to repeat the same things you did. They will potentially have a worse experience
than yours and you may have to come to grips with the fact that you, because
you sucked at dealing with it when you were experiencing it, are the worst
judge of what to do and how to react during these events. That might sting a little, but you know it’s
true.
By loving them, you need to expose them to some of the bad in this
world. Certainly not all at once, but
it’s necessary that they consume and experience some bad stuff. If they don’t, they won’t know how to
navigate through the tough times and bumps along the way. You owe it to them. If you shield your children from all of your
personal baggage, they may be forced to repeat the same things you did. They will potentially have a worse experience
than yours and you may have to come to grips with the fact that you, because
you sucked at dealing with it when you were experiencing it, are the worst
judge of what to do and how to react during these events. That might sting a little, but you know it’s
true.
Your baggage doesn’t have to become their baggage.
In all honesty, I probably grew up too fast. I have accepted and come to terms with
this. You know the song “Name” from The
Goo Goo Dolls? The line “You grew up way
too fast, now there’s nothing to believe” resonates with me. Having a younger brother die when I was 11
and being exposed to death and the gravity of mortality at an early age will
force you to come to terms with life lessons faster than most. I do feel that this event in my life changed
me for the worse and for the good.
Obviously, I do not want my kids to experience the loss of a sibling, so
that they have to come to grips with mortality prematurely like I did, but
there is nothing I can do to prevent it if something terrible like that were to
happen.
this. You know the song “Name” from The
Goo Goo Dolls? The line “You grew up way
too fast, now there’s nothing to believe” resonates with me. Having a younger brother die when I was 11
and being exposed to death and the gravity of mortality at an early age will
force you to come to terms with life lessons faster than most. I do feel that this event in my life changed
me for the worse and for the good.
Obviously, I do not want my kids to experience the loss of a sibling, so
that they have to come to grips with mortality prematurely like I did, but
there is nothing I can do to prevent it if something terrible like that were to
happen.
You can’t keep your children in bubble wrap.
On my birthday weekend, on our way back home from lunch, we
stopped by the cemetery where both of my brothers are buried. If you recall, we lost my older brother
Michael last year. My wife and kids had
not been to the gravesite since they placed the headstone for Michael’s
grave. Erin, my 7 year old, started to
cry and, out of nowhere, began to pray for both of them. I think she had a moment where she fully
realized that both of daddy’s brothers were dead. I was initially taken back by the moment and
her sensitivity to my, for lack of a better word, “struggle” in life. To put that information together and understand
the gravity of the moment as an adult is one thing. To do it at the age of 7 is quite eye
opening.
stopped by the cemetery where both of my brothers are buried. If you recall, we lost my older brother
Michael last year. My wife and kids had
not been to the gravesite since they placed the headstone for Michael’s
grave. Erin, my 7 year old, started to
cry and, out of nowhere, began to pray for both of them. I think she had a moment where she fully
realized that both of daddy’s brothers were dead. I was initially taken back by the moment and
her sensitivity to my, for lack of a better word, “struggle” in life. To put that information together and understand
the gravity of the moment as an adult is one thing. To do it at the age of 7 is quite eye
opening.
If you have ever met Erin, you would agree that she carries
herself like a 12 year old. She is very
emotionally mature and intelligent for her age.
I have always said that she looks like her momma, but thinks like
me. I have never once forced her into
experiences or needlessly shielded her from the world that comes with being
7. As mature as she is, I do not want to
warp her innocence or thrust her into certain life lessons too soon. Yet, it’s going to happen. Kids are more perceptive than you know and
they process information quicker than we expect…unless it comes to chores-then
maybe not so much. It would have done her no justice in life had I told her
that I didn’t have any brothers growing up or dodge telling stories about the
tough parts of my childhood. Shielding
for the sake of shielding will cause more damage than telling the truth. It was a challenge for me, but my wife and I
handled the questions that followed and the overall situation as best we
could. Perhaps, at another time, I will
share with you what was said. That is
for another time and another blog perhaps.
herself like a 12 year old. She is very
emotionally mature and intelligent for her age.
I have always said that she looks like her momma, but thinks like
me. I have never once forced her into
experiences or needlessly shielded her from the world that comes with being
7. As mature as she is, I do not want to
warp her innocence or thrust her into certain life lessons too soon. Yet, it’s going to happen. Kids are more perceptive than you know and
they process information quicker than we expect…unless it comes to chores-then
maybe not so much. It would have done her no justice in life had I told her
that I didn’t have any brothers growing up or dodge telling stories about the
tough parts of my childhood. Shielding
for the sake of shielding will cause more damage than telling the truth. It was a challenge for me, but my wife and I
handled the questions that followed and the overall situation as best we
could. Perhaps, at another time, I will
share with you what was said. That is
for another time and another blog perhaps.
You can’t raise a wimpy kid.
You have to let them experience things.
You can’t deny them good or bad experiences because you handled them
poorly when you were their age. You
cannot hold them responsible and accountable for your shortcomings in life and
assume that they too will have negative results. You have to allow your children that “at bat”
and see if they are the ones who can break the cycle or see the angles you
didn’t. Your terrible experience with
that issue doesn’t mean that you have to shield them from that same type of
event or moment. Instead, use your experience
to catch them if they fall. Give them
the confidence that they will survive and move on from that moment and handle
it better than you did.
You have to let them experience things.
You can’t deny them good or bad experiences because you handled them
poorly when you were their age. You
cannot hold them responsible and accountable for your shortcomings in life and
assume that they too will have negative results. You have to allow your children that “at bat”
and see if they are the ones who can break the cycle or see the angles you
didn’t. Your terrible experience with
that issue doesn’t mean that you have to shield them from that same type of
event or moment. Instead, use your experience
to catch them if they fall. Give them
the confidence that they will survive and move on from that moment and handle
it better than you did.
Save the bubble wrap.
The other day my best friend and I were having lunch
together and in the middle of the meal I said to him “I just want you to know
how proud I am of you and all that you have been able to accomplish”. Strange and unexpected statement to be made
while we were stuffing out faces with as much unhealthy BBQ as we could eat in
the 30 minutes we allow ourselves for lunch, right? I continued to praise him and used examples
of the past year to validate why I felt inclined to make the previous
statement.
together and in the middle of the meal I said to him “I just want you to know
how proud I am of you and all that you have been able to accomplish”. Strange and unexpected statement to be made
while we were stuffing out faces with as much unhealthy BBQ as we could eat in
the 30 minutes we allow ourselves for lunch, right? I continued to praise him and used examples
of the past year to validate why I felt inclined to make the previous
statement.
I think everyone, no matter the level of success, needs to
hear that. Not lip service, but
legitimate and heartfelt praise is important in our lives and sometimes someone
else has to say it in order for you to realize it or stop for a moment and
embrace it. For many, myself included,
it’s often embarrassing to hear.
hear that. Not lip service, but
legitimate and heartfelt praise is important in our lives and sometimes someone
else has to say it in order for you to realize it or stop for a moment and
embrace it. For many, myself included,
it’s often embarrassing to hear.
I live a blessed life.
I really do. I have an awesome
family and some really terrific people in my life. The money is good and I do what I love for a
living, with still enough free time to do the other stuff that I love. I know that’s not everyone’s story, but don’t
think for a moment, that if I had less, I’d be any less happy. I’m very happy. Happiness is what you make of it in this
world and only you control your level of content. There is, however, a certain level of doubt
and cynicism with all of us.
I really do. I have an awesome
family and some really terrific people in my life. The money is good and I do what I love for a
living, with still enough free time to do the other stuff that I love. I know that’s not everyone’s story, but don’t
think for a moment, that if I had less, I’d be any less happy. I’m very happy. Happiness is what you make of it in this
world and only you control your level of content. There is, however, a certain level of doubt
and cynicism with all of us.
I think it’s safe to say that we all wait for the other shoe
to drop? Things are going great and life
is sunny, but there is a cloud looming in the distance, ready to derail and
flood your happiness with tragedy, negativity and doubt.
to drop? Things are going great and life
is sunny, but there is a cloud looming in the distance, ready to derail and
flood your happiness with tragedy, negativity and doubt.
Fuck that cloud.
That being said, I honestly don’t think it is humanly
possible to live every day like it’s your last day on earth. Only old retired people have time to smell
all the roses. Also, a word of advice,
never ask old people about the weather or how they are feeling. Remember, they have all the time in the world
to tell you and they will draw it out and repeat details. You can’t go skydiving or Rocky Mountain
climbing or anything else suggested to you in a Tim McGraw song. It just realistically doesn’t work like that.
possible to live every day like it’s your last day on earth. Only old retired people have time to smell
all the roses. Also, a word of advice,
never ask old people about the weather or how they are feeling. Remember, they have all the time in the world
to tell you and they will draw it out and repeat details. You can’t go skydiving or Rocky Mountain
climbing or anything else suggested to you in a Tim McGraw song. It just realistically doesn’t work like that.
I consider myself an optimistic realist. I cherish the moments and the life that I
have. I try to take in every experience
that presents itself and I don’t try to cram in a bunch of crap into my life in
an effort to check something off a bucket list before the plane I am on crashes
into the mountains. For the record, I am
writing this on a plane headed to Atlanta, so that technically could happen.
Then again, according to my 3rd grade geography class, I don’t
recall any mountains in the path of this flight.
have. I try to take in every experience
that presents itself and I don’t try to cram in a bunch of crap into my life in
an effort to check something off a bucket list before the plane I am on crashes
into the mountains. For the record, I am
writing this on a plane headed to Atlanta, so that technically could happen.
Then again, according to my 3rd grade geography class, I don’t
recall any mountains in the path of this flight.
Any way.
We often wait for the other shoe to drop because we don’t want
to fully feel the brunt of the potential negative or painful experience that is
inevitably, at least in our minds, coming this way. We have been fooled way too many times by the
positive tempo of life, only to be knocked down by the Karate Kid style
“sweeping of the leg”.
to fully feel the brunt of the potential negative or painful experience that is
inevitably, at least in our minds, coming this way. We have been fooled way too many times by the
positive tempo of life, only to be knocked down by the Karate Kid style
“sweeping of the leg”.
Fuck Cobra Kai
The perfect marriage-till he bangs the secretary. He loves you till he finds out you can’t have
kids-then leaves. She wakes up one
morning and is no longer in love with you.
Your older brother falls asleep and never wakes up again. Life will “sweep the leg”. It will rain on your parade. Yet, there is no real reason to live life
flinching and waiting for Johnny to get the body bag! (How many Karate Kid references is that now?)
kids-then leaves. She wakes up one
morning and is no longer in love with you.
Your older brother falls asleep and never wakes up again. Life will “sweep the leg”. It will rain on your parade. Yet, there is no real reason to live life
flinching and waiting for Johnny to get the body bag! (How many Karate Kid references is that now?)
Be a good person. Try harder. Do the best with the opportunities that are
there for the taking. Do a few more
things beyond what you feel you have the energy to do. We are all gonna die. In the end, you can’t take those experiences
with you, but with saying and doing the right things; you can make a terrific
life for yourself and others around you.
Remind yourself of all the good you have done and help others reaffirm
that they too should be proud. Stop for
just a moment and reflect. Help others
reflect too. People understand and
realize their successes when they are praised by others. There is more to this life than waiting for
the bumps in the road to end. Don’t live
like you are dying. Live like you are
living.
there for the taking. Do a few more
things beyond what you feel you have the energy to do. We are all gonna die. In the end, you can’t take those experiences
with you, but with saying and doing the right things; you can make a terrific
life for yourself and others around you.
Remind yourself of all the good you have done and help others reaffirm
that they too should be proud. Stop for
just a moment and reflect. Help others
reflect too. People understand and
realize their successes when they are praised by others. There is more to this life than waiting for
the bumps in the road to end. Don’t live
like you are dying. Live like you are
living.
One more thing. Wax
on. Wax off.
on. Wax off.