If you spend any amount of time on twitter, pretty much every post is about why everyone should pay attention to "me". I'm just as guilty of posting self serving comments in an effort to grow readership of my blog or for people to actually care about something I wrote or "favorite" a joke that I told with the use of just a handful of characters. If we wanted nobody to read it, we wouldn't post it right?
Since writing this blog, I have been followed by quite a few authors, self help gurus and teams of social media specialists. Most I have followed back in an effort to not be a jerk that didn't return the favor. Then it happens. I take the time to read the posts of the people I have given my approval to by following their posts. How the hell do these people have more followers than me? It's not a contest. I know that. It's just amazing how these individuals become virally famous with next to no real contributions from their experience or knowledge. They are social media Kardashians. Being famous for being famous (minus the Ray J video).
What's interesting about these social media "specialists" is that most of them contribute very little in content, but rather retweet or repost something someone else wrote. They quote famous writers and copy and paste small takeaways that happen to fit in the allotted characters and sometimes with an attached link that sends you to whatever they are trying to market. Their only skill is the ability to identify something that would persuade someone to stop long enough to read it. Again, the content is not theirs and that's disappointing. Any resourceful person would be able to locate enough meaningful content on their own and most likely without the help of these "gurus".
You ever notice how many artists out there have been discovered on YouTube? Sure, they have to be discovered somehow and the Internet gives them a terrific platform to perform and hopefully get noticed. Yet, what are most of these people discovered for? Singing covers. Doing their version of someone else's song. Once again, their contribution to fame is derived from someone else's content. Outside of their singing ability, they are sharing nothing personal with the world.
Are you contributing or are you sharing? Are you regurgitating someone else's words or beliefs and not sharing your experience or knowledge? Are you holding back because of a lack of confidence or letting someone else speak for you?
If so, someone else is doing the homework and presentation and you're just along for the ride. Other people's words often sound better than the sentences you put together, but that doesn't mean you should take a backseat and not contribute. You can agree with someone to a certain extent, but deep down inside we are all different people with unique experiences and perspectives. Share yours. Holding back and not sharing your knowledge or outlook and only sharing brief excerpts from the mind of others doesn't make you a guru or an expert on anything more than having the ability to identify takeaways.
Anyone can get a 1000 likes for sharing something someone else created. What did you create today that provoked a thoughtful conversation or changed a persons mind or life? What did you learn or create today that was valuable enough to share with others?
If nothing. Try again tomorrow, but don't just share...have the balls to create.
#kardashian #twitter #sharing #gurus #socialmediaspecialists #selfhelp
I live a blessed life.
In a "why me God" world, where I have had my share of bad times, I can't get too depressed without telling myself to knock it off. It's not eternal optimism. It's just me being honest with myself about what life is all about and how I choose to navigate through the ups and downs.
My brother had his share of bad times. Admittedly so, as he would honestly tell you, was a combination of bad luck and stupidity. Trouble would find him, but more often than not, he would seek it out on his own and meet it head on. He would get depressed just like anyone else, but would always come to the realization that the product of the outcome was always determined by the choices he made. Reading back on old text messages from him and up until the time of his death, he would always say "I love my life". Michael was a 40 year old man, trying to get his life together, while knowingly tripping himself up along the way, chose to love his life.
As hard as it is sometimes, that's all you can do. Love your life.
It's not about the big things. Life, as I have written about it before, is mostly about the little things. The moments that remain uniquely yours and how they are captured in your memory. Glimpses of moments and brief life fragments that you can remember vividly... at the same time you try to remember where the hell you left your keys. Regrets and words you wished you didn't say play over and over in your head no matter how often you tell yourself to forget them. Not remembering the last name of that person you thought you were in love with, but remembering the time you ate ice cream in the back of the truck on the way home from swimming. It's amazing what is branded into that brain of yours and how much information flows out of it like a sieve; never to be remembered again.
My father told me this past weekend, as we were at a baseball game in Houston, that my kids have experienced more fun things in their short lives than he did in his first 40. He's probably right. We never went on vacations when we were growing up and the only time we traveled more than 100 miles from the house was when someone got married and they were close enough to us where we HAD to go. We would then try to do something around that trip that required fishing, eating somewhere cool, looking at something historic or all of the above. This was our version of a vacation. My kids have been to Disneyworld 8 times and my oldest is 6. Life and memories, despite how much Mickey Mouse would want you to believe, is not about the big things, but rather the moments that evolve into the best stories.
My children got to meet Taylor Swift a few months ago. Pretty cool right? My daughter had a 10 minute conversation with Taylor about everything under the sun. We took pictures, got autographs and our Facebook pictures were liked by hundreds. The night was that of dreams for many people and we do not take that for granted. The real story of the night, which we will be telling for the rest of our lives, was how my son Sean was not impressed with Taylor Swift at all. His only concern was how much longer he was going to have to wait till someone bought him some popcorn. "Hey Sean, you got to meet Taylor Swift". His response... "Yeah, but I wanted popcorn".
It's the little things.
It's not the huge gift you got them on Christmas Day that you remember. It's the 2 hours they spent making a pirate ship out of the box. It's not the baseball game or who won. It's watching your kids eat hot dogs and cheer for whatever team daddy says are the "good guys". It's not going to your first big high school party, but the fact your brother asked you if you wanted to go with him. It's not the gravity of your wedding day, but how your wife looked in the dress.
If you go through life expecting it to be a series of huge events that makeup the timeline of your life...you will be very disappointed. It's the little things. Those are the things that stick in your brain when all the seemingly "important, or "major" things seem to be so easily forgotten.
I don't believe in hazing. I never joined a frat. If anything, I helped to create a parody of a frat when I was in college (long story). I had plenty of friends in college and my perception of frats was more for others that felt the need to belong or individuals that had a hard time meeting others without some sort of formal structure. I never saw the social allure of joining these groups or career advantages that possibly came with these organizations. I am not judging those who did. Different people need different things and to each their own.
Hazing happens in aspects of our lives we never imagined and it happens daily. I have worked with people who were hell bent on hazing coworkers that have not been on the job as long as they have or were new to their work related social circles. They used this lack of experience as an opportunity to feel superior and put themselves in a position of power (or false sense of power). I have never felt that I am truly better than anyone nor do I perceive others to be better than me. Everyone has something to learn and something to teach.
There is something to be said for heritage and work experience, but these instances are more a case of working in different social circles; exposing their own insecurities and a need to feel more important than others. Because others hazed THEM and put THEM through the wringer, they felt the need to pass this pain along to the next generation. Outside of individuals with noble and positive intentions, too often people are hazed as a form of retaliation for something that was done to the "hazer" by someone else.
I'm certainly not asking for a call to action against hazing or bullying. People need to get kicked in the pants or put through some sort of strife in order to learn and progress in life and their career. I'm not so much into anti bullying as I am against people being douche bags. Bullies actually serve a purpose. D-bags are...well...d-bags. I truly believe there is a difference and as a society we have confused the two in an effort to create a kinder and gentler world. Bullies are what create underdogs and exciting story lines. Sporting events, like life, are supposed to have an outcome and a winner. Life shouldn't be a tie. Adversity is there to drive you to be better, stronger and allow you to see more of your potential. Without someone pushing you and forcing you into situations where you are driven to dig deeper, you may never know what you are capable of. Motivation comes in many forms.
At some point you have to break the cycle. I don't believe that people have to experience my same journey in order to gain my respect. I have taken my bumps throughout the years, but that doesn't mean that I have to do the same to others in order for them to learn the same life lessons. I would rather take the beating and share my knowledge than to deliver the same beating to someone else in hopes that they would learn the same lesson. Or worse, deliver the beating out of retaliation. People don't need a free ride, but in order to ensure the betterment of the next generation, we need to move beyond the faulty and possibly spiteful practices of yesterday. Challenge yourself to be better. Seek out new ways to pass along your knowledge and experience. Understand and embrace new practices and have confidence in your ability to be more creative than the previous generation.
You can't get into the hall of fame unless the next generation votes you in. Nobody votes for the d-bag.