We all know someone that has it worse than we do. They
carry around mental and maybe physical scars that they use to try to impress us
with. Whatever terrible story from your childhood you bring to the table, they
have experienced something way worse and carry that sadness like a badge of
honor. It’s one thing to own your scars, it's another thing to constantly draw
them like an insecure sword and gain attention through pity. Congrats. You win. I'm not even going to
watch the race, let alone allow myself to enter.
Stop.
Fueling your fragile ego with the attention you get
through the pity of others is no way to move forward in life. I have had
several unfortunate events happen in my life and it would be easy for me to
allow others to look upon me with sadness or treat me as a wounded person.
Giving up and demanding special treatment from others because you took a few
lumps in life is shameful. You are
better than that.
through the pity of others is no way to move forward in life. I have had
several unfortunate events happen in my life and it would be easy for me to
allow others to look upon me with sadness or treat me as a wounded person.
Giving up and demanding special treatment from others because you took a few
lumps in life is shameful. You are
better than that.
I never want people to look upon me with pity or sadness.
I don't want to be known as the "sad sack" in the room or have people
feel the need to tip toe around me or filter what they say because they fear
they might set me off and hurt my feelings. Your wounds are your wounds. My
wounds are my wounds. We should not have to carry any additional burden for the
other person. Sure, be mindful and don't be an asshole, but don't change who
you are when you are around me. I'll do the same around you.
I don't want to be known as the "sad sack" in the room or have people
feel the need to tip toe around me or filter what they say because they fear
they might set me off and hurt my feelings. Your wounds are your wounds. My
wounds are my wounds. We should not have to carry any additional burden for the
other person. Sure, be mindful and don't be an asshole, but don't change who
you are when you are around me. I'll do the same around you.
Use your wounds to fuel you.
I believe I have lived a blessed life. Regardless of what
short straws I may have drawn over the years (or those drawn for me), I have
fought and climbed to not allow those events to scar me or change me for the
worse. If you're handed a bag of shit in life, burn it. Use the fuel from it to
grow, move forward and improve your situation and the situations of others. Fertilizer
is made from shit. Fertilizer helps plants.
If it’s good enough for the earth, it’s good enough for you, right?
short straws I may have drawn over the years (or those drawn for me), I have
fought and climbed to not allow those events to scar me or change me for the
worse. If you're handed a bag of shit in life, burn it. Use the fuel from it to
grow, move forward and improve your situation and the situations of others. Fertilizer
is made from shit. Fertilizer helps plants.
If it’s good enough for the earth, it’s good enough for you, right?
I'm not suggesting you bury your feelings or suppress
them to the point where you become a walking time bomb. Just don't walk around
begging for attention because of your scars. Doing that will only make you a
magnet for more pain. The more baggage
you allow yourself to carry, the more you will be expected and cursed to carry.
Make peace with your baggage. Examine it from all angles and look for ways to
make yourself better because of it.
them to the point where you become a walking time bomb. Just don't walk around
begging for attention because of your scars. Doing that will only make you a
magnet for more pain. The more baggage
you allow yourself to carry, the more you will be expected and cursed to carry.
Make peace with your baggage. Examine it from all angles and look for ways to
make yourself better because of it.
Also, you will never win the sad sack race. Someone will
always be sadder and more pathetic than you.
always be sadder and more pathetic than you.
#Tryharder
I find it interesting when I see people cleaning up their
social media pages and dumping followers to insure that only the right people
are reading their very "important" posts. The self-inflated “I am dropping people from
my Facebook page because I am making changes in my life…blah blah blah”. Here’s a novel idea, why don’t you just do it
and not make an announcement about it?
We all have a few 100 people on our friends list and there is a good
chance they probably won’t even notice if you dropped them. Yet, you want to make an announcement. You want the attention. You want the drama. “Hey look at me everybody! Not just anybody
can be my Facebook friends! I’m
awesome! Future Facebook friends will
need to fill out an application”. Remember,
you’re dropping these people to rid your life off drama….right….
I am all about you cutting cancerous people from your
life. It should be a special thing to be
a close friend of yours, but perhaps you are missing the point of Facebook,
social media and the reasons for networking? If you are close to a certain
group of people, then it shouldn't matter if they are on your page. You should
be texting, emailing or talking to these people on a regular basis. Are you really so "busy" that your
close friends and family need to learn all the important things about you on
Facebook? Facebook isn't the place where grandma is supposed to learn about
your pregnancy. That's where the rest of the world is supposed to find out.
Realistically, the majority of your friends on Facebook are not the people you
intend on inviting to the baby shower and that’s ok.
life. It should be a special thing to be
a close friend of yours, but perhaps you are missing the point of Facebook,
social media and the reasons for networking? If you are close to a certain
group of people, then it shouldn't matter if they are on your page. You should
be texting, emailing or talking to these people on a regular basis. Are you really so "busy" that your
close friends and family need to learn all the important things about you on
Facebook? Facebook isn't the place where grandma is supposed to learn about
your pregnancy. That's where the rest of the world is supposed to find out.
Realistically, the majority of your friends on Facebook are not the people you
intend on inviting to the baby shower and that’s ok.
If you don't want me to read your occasional
passive-aggressive posts or look at your “awesome” vacation pictures, then by
all means, unlike me. I will get over it. By doing this you are missing the
point of "social media". Isn't the point of Facebook to share with
the rest of the world, especially exes, how great your life is now!? Look how great I am doing without you!! I am
kidding, but you know that’s one of the reasons you are on Facebook and the
only reason you are Facebook friends with an ex! Again, you love the drama. I am not judging you, I am only forcing you
to be honest about it. I too have exes
on my Facebook page. After seeing how their
lives have turned out, I am thankful that I dodged a bullet with some of those
exes.
passive-aggressive posts or look at your “awesome” vacation pictures, then by
all means, unlike me. I will get over it. By doing this you are missing the
point of "social media". Isn't the point of Facebook to share with
the rest of the world, especially exes, how great your life is now!? Look how great I am doing without you!! I am
kidding, but you know that’s one of the reasons you are on Facebook and the
only reason you are Facebook friends with an ex! Again, you love the drama. I am not judging you, I am only forcing you
to be honest about it. I too have exes
on my Facebook page. After seeing how their
lives have turned out, I am thankful that I dodged a bullet with some of those
exes.
What sparked this blog?
No, it wasn’t because I saw a sudden drop in likes or noticed that an ex
wasn’t following me anymore. I was
thumbing through my feed and noticed several posts in a row about people
purging friends from their page. If you
want to make a statement to certain people on your page, why wouldn’t you
contact them directly? Instead of the
post that has us all guessing what is going on, wouldn’t it be more efficient
if you just messaged them directly? You won’t
do it. You know why? Because you are chicken. Drama is more fun and safer when it’s shared
with an audience. One on one drama gets
too personal and you don’t have anything public to hide behind. This way, your supporters can chime in and
help bury the other person’s point. Sharing drama in a public place keeps the
other person from firing back as much as they would privately. Remember the firing scene in Jerry
Maguire? He didn’t freak out because he
was in a public place.
No, it wasn’t because I saw a sudden drop in likes or noticed that an ex
wasn’t following me anymore. I was
thumbing through my feed and noticed several posts in a row about people
purging friends from their page. If you
want to make a statement to certain people on your page, why wouldn’t you
contact them directly? Instead of the
post that has us all guessing what is going on, wouldn’t it be more efficient
if you just messaged them directly? You won’t
do it. You know why? Because you are chicken. Drama is more fun and safer when it’s shared
with an audience. One on one drama gets
too personal and you don’t have anything public to hide behind. This way, your supporters can chime in and
help bury the other person’s point. Sharing drama in a public place keeps the
other person from firing back as much as they would privately. Remember the firing scene in Jerry
Maguire? He didn’t freak out because he
was in a public place.
Like spicy food or an occasional drink, we all like a
little bit of drama in our diet. Like
anything that is bad for us, we have a sick addiction to keep a little of it in
our lives. I suppose that drama is
healthier than drugs or alcohol, but like anything else, it needs to be
consumed in moderation. I have seen it
happen. There are people that, if they don’t
have anything crazy going on, create unnecessary drama. “My personal life is going great, let me find
something wrong with my career”. “I have plenty of time to get there, but if I
show up late, that will give this day some drama”. We all have moments where the addiction takes
over. #Tryharder to make sure your
addiction to drama doesn’t become so familiar and needed that it grows and
effects all aspects of your life.
Everything in moderation, because drama is inevitable.
little bit of drama in our diet. Like
anything that is bad for us, we have a sick addiction to keep a little of it in
our lives. I suppose that drama is
healthier than drugs or alcohol, but like anything else, it needs to be
consumed in moderation. I have seen it
happen. There are people that, if they don’t
have anything crazy going on, create unnecessary drama. “My personal life is going great, let me find
something wrong with my career”. “I have plenty of time to get there, but if I
show up late, that will give this day some drama”. We all have moments where the addiction takes
over. #Tryharder to make sure your
addiction to drama doesn’t become so familiar and needed that it grows and
effects all aspects of your life.
Everything in moderation, because drama is inevitable.
As everyone knows, you need to save the drama for your
mamma.
mamma.
"You reap what you sow".
The problem with most of us (ok maybe all of us) when it
comes to that phrase is that we don't have the patience for it to come full
circle. We live in a "gotta see it now" society that is void of
patience. If projects or relationships
don't immediately yield results, we pull out and move on to something new. We
know it's not healthy, but we just can't help ourselves.
comes to that phrase is that we don't have the patience for it to come full
circle. We live in a "gotta see it now" society that is void of
patience. If projects or relationships
don't immediately yield results, we pull out and move on to something new. We
know it's not healthy, but we just can't help ourselves.
Remember, you will never reap the immediate results of
the sowing of today.
the sowing of today.
Like you, it’s often a challenge for me to see things
through to the end. Much of my workday is measured by results and the immediacy
that comes with having to provide results and answers to questions and
obstacles. No matter the amount of coaching or explanation, others do not see
or share in the vision; especially if the results of that vision are not
immediate. Pressure from others or yourself can often push you to move faster
on tasks or relationships than you want. You have to see it through at the
proper tempo and that is not easy.
through to the end. Much of my workday is measured by results and the immediacy
that comes with having to provide results and answers to questions and
obstacles. No matter the amount of coaching or explanation, others do not see
or share in the vision; especially if the results of that vision are not
immediate. Pressure from others or yourself can often push you to move faster
on tasks or relationships than you want. You have to see it through at the
proper tempo and that is not easy.
Having patience with relationships can be even more
challenging than projects. When you are
networking, you often feel that you are giving more to the relationship than
the other person. No relationships in life are ever 50/50, so expecting
everything to be balanced is ridiculous.
Others will rarely see the value that you see in the relationship. You have to measure the value of that
relationship and #tryharder if you feel it is important. I am not suggesting
you keep score in life, but it's perfectly healthy to weigh and measure your
relationships. This allows you to keep from being taken advantage of, but also
make sure to acknowledge those who are willing to go the distance with you
(Ride or Die Chick!).
challenging than projects. When you are
networking, you often feel that you are giving more to the relationship than
the other person. No relationships in life are ever 50/50, so expecting
everything to be balanced is ridiculous.
Others will rarely see the value that you see in the relationship. You have to measure the value of that
relationship and #tryharder if you feel it is important. I am not suggesting
you keep score in life, but it's perfectly healthy to weigh and measure your
relationships. This allows you to keep from being taken advantage of, but also
make sure to acknowledge those who are willing to go the distance with you
(Ride or Die Chick!).
I try to keep touch with as many people as I can. Former
employees, coworkers, bosses, and random people I have connected with along the
way. It's important to not lose touch with your immediate community and the
other communities you are tethered to from various stages and chapters of your
life. From grade school to your professional life, it's important to stay
connected. (Unless everyone hated you in the 3rd grade and called you "bed
wetter Betty". You can go ahead and unplug from those people) If people
are cancerous to your life or career, you certainly need to weigh and examine
your relationship with them as well. Not
everyone is meant to remain as a contact in your iPhone, but you have to
evaluate the difference between a cancerous relationship and a challenging one.
employees, coworkers, bosses, and random people I have connected with along the
way. It's important to not lose touch with your immediate community and the
other communities you are tethered to from various stages and chapters of your
life. From grade school to your professional life, it's important to stay
connected. (Unless everyone hated you in the 3rd grade and called you "bed
wetter Betty". You can go ahead and unplug from those people) If people
are cancerous to your life or career, you certainly need to weigh and examine
your relationship with them as well. Not
everyone is meant to remain as a contact in your iPhone, but you have to
evaluate the difference between a cancerous relationship and a challenging one.
Selfishly, it is never a bad idea to stay in contact with
people who might eventually help you in your career. The obvious is former
employers (that you didn't burn bridges with) because they might be able to
hire you or refer you to someone else if you find yourself in need of a new
job. It is equally important to stay connected with former employees or people
you have worked with along the way. These people can be of great use to you
when you need a dynamic person to help your business grow. In management, keeping a stable of talent to
hire from is essential. Even if you
never have the opportunity to hire them, it’s always good to have a plan “B”
person up your sleeve.
people who might eventually help you in your career. The obvious is former
employers (that you didn't burn bridges with) because they might be able to
hire you or refer you to someone else if you find yourself in need of a new
job. It is equally important to stay connected with former employees or people
you have worked with along the way. These people can be of great use to you
when you need a dynamic person to help your business grow. In management, keeping a stable of talent to
hire from is essential. Even if you
never have the opportunity to hire them, it’s always good to have a plan “B”
person up your sleeve.
Then, it happens.
You rush it. You invest a little
time in making a connection. You take
that person to lunch or you call them a few times to keep the “friendship”
going. Then that moment arrives when you
feel you can call in a favor or finally spend some of the equity you think you
have in that relationship and they aren’t there for you. Why?
Perhaps they don’t value the relationship as much as you do? Maybe you don’t have enough of the things
they deem important or your timing is just wrong. Some people are not of the networking mind
and never take the time to cultivate relationships with the same interest that
you have. As a manager, I find the most
frustrating people to be the ones that only reach out or connect when they need
something. Look, we all need something,
but you need to have some tact in your approach. Networking, when you are trying to get ahead
in your career, is not hitting up an employer whenever they have an
opening. Networking is staying connected
at the times when neither one of you have a need for each other. Keeping a flow of communication for months,
maybe years, before the opportunity presents itself. Even if that opportunity never happens, that
connection can still be very valuable.
You rush it. You invest a little
time in making a connection. You take
that person to lunch or you call them a few times to keep the “friendship”
going. Then that moment arrives when you
feel you can call in a favor or finally spend some of the equity you think you
have in that relationship and they aren’t there for you. Why?
Perhaps they don’t value the relationship as much as you do? Maybe you don’t have enough of the things
they deem important or your timing is just wrong. Some people are not of the networking mind
and never take the time to cultivate relationships with the same interest that
you have. As a manager, I find the most
frustrating people to be the ones that only reach out or connect when they need
something. Look, we all need something,
but you need to have some tact in your approach. Networking, when you are trying to get ahead
in your career, is not hitting up an employer whenever they have an
opening. Networking is staying connected
at the times when neither one of you have a need for each other. Keeping a flow of communication for months,
maybe years, before the opportunity presents itself. Even if that opportunity never happens, that
connection can still be very valuable.
So where do you draw the line? Do you pull out of the relationship and
invest your time elsewhere? I guess it all
depends on how important that relationship is to you. Maybe you came on too strong or maybe you
have little to offer in the eyes of the other person. Maybe you back off a bit and find other
people that have similar opportunities to offer? If you are networking properly, you should
have a deep bench of people that you connect, and continue to connect,
with. Healthy networking should be part
of your lifestyle and not just something you do for advancement. Understand that we need to invest in people
and relationships if we want to progress in life and career. You must also keep in mind that all
relationships are investments that mature differently and we will get nothing
back if we don’t at least try.
invest your time elsewhere? I guess it all
depends on how important that relationship is to you. Maybe you came on too strong or maybe you
have little to offer in the eyes of the other person. Maybe you back off a bit and find other
people that have similar opportunities to offer? If you are networking properly, you should
have a deep bench of people that you connect, and continue to connect,
with. Healthy networking should be part
of your lifestyle and not just something you do for advancement. Understand that we need to invest in people
and relationships if we want to progress in life and career. You must also keep in mind that all
relationships are investments that mature differently and we will get nothing
back if we don’t at least try.