When you are at the bottom of the well looking up at the small round piece of blue sky, all you can think about is getting out. Your only goal is to not be where you are right now. Too many people only think about that one thing-getting out. Yet, there is an even larger hurdle to deal with...what are you going to do after you get out?
Nobody thinks about the next step. Ok, I climbed out of this metaphoric "well" of life issues and stress. All I want to do is get away from the thing that is consuming me or causing the stress. For some it's a job, a relationship or a financial situation. For others...they could actually be trapped in a well. If that's the case, start calling for Old Yeller. Yet, even then, you need to calculate your next move. A few scenes from now, Yeller is going to be foaming at the mouth and wanting to bite you. Didn't think about that did ya? (Lassie would be a better choice).
You have to always consider multiple moves and how you are going to navigate those moves once you get out of the well. If you don't, you will jump from one bad situation to another and to another; never taking the time to learn from the previous.
What are you going to do better, in the next situation, to prevent yourself from falling again? Many people learn just enough and find themselves in shallower wells each time. Always looking and accepting the small upside of the new situation. Great, you're an optimist, but your ass is still looking up at the world from the bottom of the new situation. Wouldn't it be better to plan things out a little more, calculate the next move and have a life battle plan in front of you?
You are so used to falling that you know no other life. You think these options are your only options. You actually find comfort in the familiarity of each bad situation and continue to restrict and limit your options-much like the walls of the well you'll be forever forced to climb out of.
I will give you credit. While others have given up, you are still climbing. Just do yourself a favor and stop JUST trying to get out and start planning what you will actually do WHEN you do get out. Getting out of the well is not the real challenge. It's STAYING out of the well.
I'm a Gin drinker. Bombay Sapphire martini, dirty, up with one extra olive to be exact. It's the only time in my life where I sound "cool" ordering a drink. Not James Bond cool, but still kind of worldly. This is the only way I know how to order a martini.
Anyway.
The other day I spoke with a former co-worker. He and I started new jobs around the same time and he had come to me for advice on dealing with having to answer to a new group of people, who do things a lot differently than he was used to. He was being somewhat micro managed at the time and it was a more attention and coaching than he was accustomed to. He went from winning his way to having to try to win "their" way.
There are 1,000s of ways to win. Take a look at the shelf of self help, marketing and management books at Barnes and Noble. 1000s of books on winning and how not to be a dick to people. Millions of dollars being made in this industry and maybe one day I will throw my hat into the ring and try to make a buck or two....or I'll just keep blogging, I am not completly convinced that someone would actually pay for the stuff I write.
Anyway.
He was shaken. A bit rattled by this new attention that he was getting from his new employers. After some success of doing it his way, he hit a road block of sorts and was having to go through the learning process of doing it another way. Starting over and second guessing yourself can get you rattled. Professional pitchers, making millions of dollars a year, often get rattled and pulled out of the game, only to start another in 4-5 days. We all get rattled.
Having to explore another way of doing it is a challenge. Anytime you push (or someone else pushes) you out of your comfort zone, you have to almost start over again. You have to relearn your job and you second guess everything. Nobody says you have to give up all your previous knowledge and skill. Yet, in order to grow, learning different ways to do things is imperative. Even if they are wrong, you won't be able to convince them of this till you completely learn their system. When making this transition, you go from feeling like the smartest person in the room to feeling like the dumbest. That's ok.
Remember when Tiger Woods changed his swing completely? His swing coach didn't like what he saw in arguably the worlds greatest golfer and had him change his approach to the sport. Some would say his swing coach was an idiot, but you can't argue with the results right? He was more successful post change than he was doing it his way.
In short, (guess I could have just written this and been done with it)... There are a 1000+ ways to be successful. It wouldn't hurt you to learn more than one.
Sometimes I give advice. My intention is to never come off as a pretentious ass who knows more than the rest of the room. Everyone has advice to give and advice is just...advice. Nobody is forced to make life changes because of something someone said in a witty quote from Facebook or twitter. Yet, in life, we should all keep an open mind.
I stumble across messages all the time that inspire me to write something or think deeper about a particular topic. It's like watching the Food Network and getting inspired to cook a meal you have never made before. If something I see, experience or read triggers me to start thinking; I write it down and share it with anyone who cares to read it. Luckily, people seem to want to read the stuff I put up here. Thanks by the way. Its cool to check the stats on my blog and see just how many people gave a crap. Once again, thank you and feel free to share.
So instead of taking a quote and putting my own narrative around it, I decided to scroll through twitter over a 24 hour period and pull 10 random quotes or words of advice. It's interesting what one can learn about life in 140 characters. If you like them-share em. If you don't-no big deal....they aren't mine and I won't be offended.
"If you hold on tight to what you think is your thing, you may find you're missing all the rest" ~Dave Matthews Band
"The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities"
~Stephen Covey
"Everything in life has divine order. Often our choices confuse the order. There is a way through every situation."
"It is never too late to be what you might have been!"
~ George Eliot
" No one is more allowed or entitled to lead. We do all have the potential to lead and help others lead."
"Great Achievement is Usually Born of Great Sacrifice. And is Never the Results of Selfishness."
~ N.H.s Laws of Success
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"
~ Lao Tzu
"All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, it will not change you."
~ Wayne W. Dyer
"Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity."
~Colin Powell
"It's never too late to do something great. Never discount your potential or stop believing in yourself. Have faith. Surge ahead!"
This morning, at the gym, I lifted more weight than intended.
I workout 4-5 times a week and have done so for the past 5 years. I'm a type 2 diabetic and I enjoy eating. In order to not blow up, I have to kill myself almost every morning around 5:30am.
(Anyone seen the weight room? Chris Farley voice)
Regardless, I was doing an isolated bench press round and was using dumbbells. Someone placed the weights in the wrong spot and I didn't double check the pounds before I started the exercise. I was planning on doing 10 reps and midway through, after feeling more resistance than expected, I looked up and saw that I was pushing 10lbs per dumbbell more than I was planning. Instead of racking and getting the "right" amount, I finished the 5 rounds of 10 with the heavier than expected weight.
(Enough flexing..).
The point is, you are not aware of what you can accomplish unless you push yourself. My comfort zone was 10lbs ago. Lifting outside of the norm helps to make you stronger and opens you up to growth. In life, you need to do "reps" that challenge you and force you to dig deeper. Doing the same thing, over and over again, will never yield new results. You won't build muscle/knowledge, nor will you improve. Lift more, read more, do more and you will grow.
(Anyone need tickets to the gun show?)