Growing up I had this friend who was always trying to make money by doing every get rich quick scheme he could think of. Remember when stuffing envelopes was the thing that sounded so easy and profitable? All you had to do was stuff envelopes and you could make millions! Needless to say, he never got rich off of doing that or several of the other things he tried. He had to, reluctantly, actually work in order to make money. Life isn't easy. If we could, we would naturally want to take the path of least resistance. If someone offered you the opportunity to make more money and be more successful by doing less work, we would all jump on that opportunity. It doesn't exist. It won't happen.
You don't learn anything by doing things the easy way.
With anything, you have to put in the time. Some of us think we have already paid our "dues" and we shouldn't have to do certain things anymore. That once we get to a certain level in life or career, we no longer have to deal with certain tasks and challenges and we can keep our hands clean of the "grunt" work. It's just not true. I have been in my chosen profession for almost 18 years and every task or duty that I did then, I am still responsible for today. My job title is different, but the base of responsibilities that I had in 1995, still fall upon me in 2013. Not to mention the countless additional tasks that came with the pay raises and promotions over the years. If you are in the same field of work and you are no longer doing any of the duties you were doing when you first got in, chances are you are out of touch. You might soon be learning something the hard way and not by choice.
You don't learn anything by doing things the easy way.
My parents used to take me to the bar with them when I was a kid. They liked to have a few beers on a Friday or Saturday night after a long week of work. I grew up in the middle of nowhere, so going with them to a smokey bar was much more interesting than sitting around the house and flipping through the 5 basic channels we had on tv. I used to play pool and for a while there I got pretty good at it. I would obsess about angles and trick shots and would play them out in my head for days. One of the things my dad taught me was to always take the hardest shots first; before you take the easy ones. The easy shots will always be there and if you make the hard shot first, you could then run the table. There's a life lesson there, but I will let you figure it out on your own.
You don't learn anything by doing things the easy way.
Nobody has ever had a successful relationship without going through some challenging times. You know the couples, the ones that flaunt how "easy" their relationship is and how they never fight or disagree about anything? They are very vocal about how they have figured it all out and found the secret to the happiest of relationships. Chances are, they will let you know how much more sex they are having than you too. Those couples seem to always flaunt that for some reason? Those couples never make it. They are one of the first in your group of friends to divorce or break up. When they start to hit a road block or bump in their relationship, they freak out and bring the drama into your circle of friends. They don't know how to handle it and they turn to others...it's hard not to want to say "I told you so" when they were so quick to brag how much better their relationship was than yours.
If you have never been at a crossroads or felt lost in life or in your career-you are doing it wrong. You need challenges. You need to face the unknown and challenge yourself to take the path of MOST resistance. You have to go through some (for a lack of a better term) "shit", in order to grow and learn.
You don't learn anything by doing things the easy way.
#sex #relationships #shootingpool #stuffenvelopes #growing.
One of the most important things in being a manager of people is the ability to connect. Not just with your employees, but with your peers and customers. If you are not able to create an environment that breads inclusion, you end up missing the mark with people and this then creates exclusion and confusion.
I, as a manager of people, try to find common ground for education. I try not to use examples or lessons that wouldn't make eye contact with everyone. I don't like to use analogies that wouldn't connect with certain people because of their background, age, race or sex. It's often a challenge, but one of the keys to being a good manager is the ability to make clear points and remove communication obstacles.
Read the room and realize who you are talking to.
A few years ago, I was working at a different company and the majority of the middle managers and staff were female. The upper management consisted of men over the age of 50. The team received a reading assignment, from the upper managers, and were told that they would discuss the information a few days later when the managers from corporate came to town. The corporate managers were male and over the age of 50 as well.
The reading materials consisted of articles about management and how to improve productivity, etc. The catch? All three pieces were written by football coaches and riddled with sports analogies. Sure, in the end, they were decent lessons on building a better team and making tough decisions, but the examples in these particular articles were written by a man and for a man. I am not saying that all women do not relate to sports analogies, but the tone and direction of these articles were written for a 50 year old man. These articles were also more relevant to the time that they were written in-which was about a decade ago. 10 years ago- when these male 50 year old senior level managers were middle managers.
The result of the meeting? Polarizing. The female managers were guarded because of the male focused atmosphere of the meeting. They were turned off, not just by the use of sports analogies, but by the lack of modern day relevance in the lessons that were trying to be conveyed. The 50 year old male managers walked away from the meeting frustrated and confused as to why these stories didn't cut through to the room. To them, these articles were GOLD and represented how they think. It also represented how out of touch they were with the modern day middle manager, the age and sex of the room and their need to hold onto the nostalgia of the way things were.
Read the room and realize who you are talking to. If the room doesn't embrace the points you are trying to make, you might be in the wrong "room"'. Study the audience and realize that you may have to reword the presentation of your takeaways. The end lesson can still be the same, but the presentation needs to connect with the audience. Presidential candidates would not address a group of college kids and focus on the topic of social security...right? You cannot take a one size fits all approach to teaching and connecting and just assume that everyone will eventually just "get it". You will end up just as frustrated as everyone else in the room.
#meetings #football #readtheroom
Recently a great friend of mine called me for some career advice. He was weighing his options on wether or not to take a new job or stay with his current employer. When the new company offered him more money than he was currently making, his old company matched it in an effort to keep him. He was on the fence and too close to the situation and needed an outside opinion to help process everything.
It's amazing how that happens. You work at a place for years and suddenly, when someone else shows interest in you, you finally get offered the amount of money you wanted or you feel you should have gotten prior to another company showing interest in you. It's like dating more than one person and both suiters have to one up each other in an effort to be the "favorite". Regardless, it's one of the few times in life where we truly feel liberated and in the drivers seat of our career. Its also very stressful. If you ever find yourself in one of these situations-take it all in and enjoy it. At the same time, don't let it go to your head.
I have heard horror stories about people handling these situations poorly. Once the new company offers them more money than the current company, they begin to treat their current employers as if they were terrible people. As if they were a slave that was finally freed by the hands of someone with a bigger budget. Unless you are truly consumed with burning a bridge, that's not the smartest way to deal with this situation. You accepted that job for what they were paying. Just because another company values the new offered position more than your current position at your current company-that shouldn't give you the green light to treat your company with disrespect. If for some reason you stay and do not take the bigger paycheck from the new company, don't let that consume you either. Be absolute in your decision and don't allow the turned down offer change you or your work ethic.
I have never made my decisions based on money. Money has certainly been a tiebreaker, but happiness and growth (for me they come hand in hand) have always been my focus. It's not about chasing a few extra dollars, it's about you being able to accomplish, or get closer to accomplishing, your goals in life. I have been blessed by companies willing to double my salary, but have stayed true to my chosen path and politely turned down those offers. I don't look back and think too hard about the "what ifs". My career choices are my own and you should do what you feel is best for you.
As you know, you should write down all the pros and cons of the two positions and weigh out all the options. Often, the shiny new job with all the "grass is greener" possibilities, doesn't end up being the right decision. The new company has to work hard to get you to leave and they will paint you a picture with rainbows and happiness. Don't get blinded by the pie in the sky stuff and be able to step back and see it for what it's really worth. Then make the right decision for you. Unless money is the most important thing in the world to you-don't make it about the money. Yes, money CAN buy happiness, just know that you might not get to experience that happiness till after 5pm. Because between the hours of 9am and 5pm, your life might be hell.
My friend took the new job. He starts in 2 weeks.
#money #happiness #jobchange
I meet a lot of people in my profession. I shake so many hands in a given day, that it is a necessity to have a vat of hand sanitizer on the corner of my desk.
I would like to think that one of my better qualities is my ability to be memorable. Whenever meeting someone new, especially in business, it is important to leave them with a lasting impression. If they too meet tons of new people in a day-how will you stand out from the pack? What makes you memorable? They need to walk away with at least one positive takeaway from the brief or extensive conversation. Not Ten. They just need one.
It's important to be somewhat worldly. You have to be able to speak on a wide array of topics. If you cannot contribute to the conversation, for whatever reason, then you have to learn to ask solid questions to stay engaged in the discussion. Unfortunately, this is where many people fall short. Some of us are so focused on our profession that we struggle when the natural flow of conversation deviates from the preferred topic. Very few of us have ever climbed the Swiss Alps, but we should be able to contribute or be engaged in the conversation if someone in the room has.
If you want to be more successful in creating relationships, you almost have to approach every new interaction as if it's a first date. Naturally, we want all of our new relationships, both in business and in life, to be successful. It's doesn't need to be "all about you" for your first meeting to be successful. So many people make this mistake. They feel, in order to leave a lasting impression, that the conversation needs to be all about them. By shoehorning information about yourself into the conversation, you will not be successful. You may emote some of your worst traits and make a lasting negative impression.
Ever been on a date where all the other person does is talk about them? Ever been in a room where the insecure person tries to force the natural progression of conversation to be all about them? What we learn about that person, out of their desperation, is how insecure they are. During this moment, they attempted to make a lasting impression by showcasing their worst qualities. I once started a new job and the person who was going to directly report to me proceeded to tell me all the things that they are not good at. This person felt that this was the best way to fill the awkward first meeting of boss/employee. Yes, it made a lasting impression. Sometimes it's like watching an old Chris Farley sketch on SNL. The one where he does the quotation marks with his fingers as he shares with the audience all of his shortcomings. I don't "bathe often". I'm not "politically correct". I don't "work well with others"....
You cannot allow yourself to be a one trick pony in the conversation department. You have to be interesting, engaging and above all a better listener than a speaker. By knowing where in the conversation to strategically plant seeds about yourself or lead the other person deeper into a topic you want to stay on, you have to be able to actively listen. Also, don't allow just one thing to define you. Be interesting and interested in other topics. Be able to stay engaged about things you have little to know interest in. Work on being worldly by taking a cooking class or reading a book about something you have little interest in.
Most of the time you are not in a setting where, when the conversation runs cold, you can just move to another table. Business and creating new relationships is not speed dating. Yet, even with speed dating, there is a cocktail party afterwards where you can carry on a longer conversation where people can then ruin the experience by telling you how much she loves having 12 cats or that he still lives with his mother.
#bemomorable #dating #speeddating #chrisfarley #snl #relationships #business