You see shirts, Facebook posts and Pinterest updates with the various versions of the "Keep Calm" theme. I'm sitting on a plane on my way to Disney World with my family. For some reason, I end up doing a lot of writing while flying? Must be the change of scenery or altitude?
Anyway.
I saw a "Keep Calm" shirt before I boarded the plane this morning and it inspired me to write. I always wondered what I would do if the plane caught fire, a wing fell off, ran out of gas or we had to prepare for a water landing (God forbid, but we have all played out the scenario in our heads). They always ask, when I am placed by an exit, if I am capable of handling the duties that come along with row 9. I always agree to it- thinking if the crew needed me, I'd be as heroic as Harrison Ford! Sure, why not. How often does it come up where a passenger has to actually do more than stay buckled in his seat and lean away from the guy next to you. Today I am sitting in row 24, so I will not be asked to save the world (yet, too close to the bathroom for my taste).
When situations present themselves, I do a pretty good job of seeing all angles and keeping calm. It took time and a bunch of experiences to get to this point. Often, there are moments in my job or life that call for me to react in a specific way and I feel confident that I correctly rise to the occasion. The world could be crumbling around me and the sky is falling, but I work hard to maintain balance and to never let people see me sweat.
Why? Because I have seen enough people get rattled...frankly, you look dumb. I have worked with people in the past that scream, get pissed and look terrible in the process. I'm not vain or without feeling. I just don't want to look stupid and I certainly don't want to give anyone the satisfaction that they got the best of me. You also don't need people around you showing "pity" for what just happened to you. You are better than that.
Yes, sometimes you get caught off guard and blindsided by a left hook to the head. You can't see everything coming. It's how you react and how you recover that counts. Boxers fake not being hurt in order to make their opponent believe that they can take the other guys best stuff. Even after getting knocked down, boxers rise to the challenge, pick themselves up and often win the fight.
It's not about pride. Pride sometimes is a bitch... it's not about pride. It's about confidence and always attempting to do the right thing. Your next move is important, but not as important as your first move. The first move is picking yourself up off the canvas with style and lungs full of air. The next move, in boxing and in life, is to get your guard up and start moving your feet.
Keep Calm and punch back. (Just make sure you're smiling...it pisses the other guy off).
#flying #harrisonford #boxing #keepcalm
Christal and I have been married for over 12 years. I was recently asked to give marriage advice to someone who was about to get married. There are no real secrets and every relationship is different. There is however one common theme with all successful relationships and it's a tall order to ask of anyone. It takes patience, understanding and the ability to go beyond your mental programming.
Don't keep score.
Each person's perception of the relationship is always skewed. Marriage, in each person's eyes, is 70-30 with you always feeling like you are the one putting in the 70. Don't feel bad if your feel this way because chances are your spouse thinks they are the 70 as well. Those who say that it's 50-50 are full of it and living a lie perpetuated by some cliche phrase they once heard. At the end of the day it might really be 50-50, but that is hardly ever anyone's perception.
If you mentally put a value on everything you do....STOP. "I did this for you, so I'm the better spouse." "You got to do this, so you owe me this". Marriage is not a barter deal. Sure there are trade offs and "deals" brokered from time to time, but you can't continue to harbor hate, jealousy, guilt or anger in your heart for the other person because you didn't get to cash in your chip or your favor wasn't the magnitude of theirs.
Think about all the score keeping you do in life. Stop. You should always want to give more than you receive. You should never give something-expecting the same in return. In the long run, in healthy relationships, you get back what you put in. Just make sure that you are giving in the purest sense and not with hidden motives.
Relationships are not games. Don't treat them as such. Stop keeping score.
#relationships #marriage
"You can't go home again." So says Thomas Wolfe in a novel written way before I was ever born.
I graduated high school in 1993. Johnson City-a small town in Texas that had 932 in population they day I set off for college. Graduated college from Angelo State University in 1997 and soon after set out for the world of radio. This year, I accepted a job in San Antonio, just 60 minutes away from the town I grew up in. I came back home.
I have spent the past 15+ years dreaming of the day I could return to Texas and be surrounded by my family. I live a blessed life and thank my lucky stars each day that I can be so close to the ones I love. To be there for them and provide my children with an opportunity to do something I never got a chance to do...grow up around people who share my same last name.
Have you ever seem John Cusack in the movie Grosse Point Blank? Great movie by the way! It's on the list of films that I could stumble upon and watch at any given point in the movie. John's character left town before Senior prom and never looked back. Years later, he found himself back at Grosse Point for his high school reunion. He had lived a life away from home and became a different person. Yet, even though he had changed so much, he found himself gravitating to certain people and behaviors from his past.
This past weekend I went to an event in my home town and was reminded just how much I have been changed by my time away from home. Not changed in a bad way or altered in a way where I have forgotten about my roots-just changed by the years of different experiences. I remember who I am and where I came from...I am not better than anyone...just different. Thomas Wolfe writes about a character who went away to war and returned to his hometown. In some ways I can relate.
I looked around the room and saw several familiar faces, but some of the names had escaped my memory. Physically, we all change. Gain weight, grey hair, have kids, etc. Time takes its toll on people. Some I had kept in distant contact with through Facebook, others I wonder if they would recognize me or even care if I was there. I hugged a few people and locked eyes with some in that "did you see me-is that you?" kind of exchange.
You can't go home again. Seeing home through traveled eyes. You change. They change. Not to be dramatic, but I have been corrupted by my experiences. Sure, much of it can be associated with growing up and losing your innocence, but the small town I never really dreamt of traveling too far away from really is a different place. It hasn't really changed...my eyes and how I process things has.
#johncusack #cusack #grossepointblank #thomaswolfe #prom #texas
Some people need to be right. It makes them feel better about themselves or validates their feelings and convictions. This might come from a place of insecurity. By trying to flex your mental muscles all of the time, you actually come across as weak. The person talking the most doesn't usually translate to the being the smartest person in the room. It takes a lot of energy to try to convince the room of your point and direction. Energy better utilized in the timeline of the goal don't you think?
Do not get clouded by the need to be right where you miss all of your chances of getting your point across. Like driving in an area you have never been, you are so focused on getting there that you miss the exit or even the shortcut. It's not necessarily how you get to the goal or the desired result that matters....it's getting there. Some people are obsessed with learning the hard way. We all have to learn sometime…and if they want to be so "right" that it takes them 35 steps to finish something that only requires 10...God bless em.
I have never let my personal feelings get in the way of the greater goal. I pride myself on being able to create subtle ways of "planting" ideas into people's heads. A suggestion, phrased and framed the right way, is more effective than “fillabusting” or monopolizing a conversation or meeting. Use the force Luke! Jedi mind stuff! By making certain suggestions- you can get your point across, lead people in the right direction and have them feel like they are doing it their way. It's far more rewarding and effective than just dragging everyone kicking and screaming into your need to be “right”. They learn more. You are getting the result you wanted without having to do everything yourself and people feel like they are doing it their way. In the end, you win and they get the satisfaction of being "right".
Shut up and be a seed planter. Let your ideas grow.