Do you love your relationships? Let me ask that again, but more specifically. Do you love your career? Do you love your hobbies? Do you love your partner? Your friends? Your family? Do you love where your life is heading?

Are you honestly in love with these things and enjoy your time at them and with them?

Or…do they frustrate and consume you to the point where you think you’re in love?

The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is apathy. Apathy is also the opposite of hate. Hate and love are powerful emotions that can consume you similarly. You may be unable to tell the difference and end up fooling yourself. (Look up “emotional ambivalence.”)

Or it’s the optimism that keeps you coming back for more. Or is it the fear of change that keeps you in “love”?

This COULD be a great job if….
This COULD be a great relationship if….
I have spent too much time, energy, and resources on this hobby not to be good at it or enjoy it more….(I’m looking at you golf)

You’re invested, which is good.
You’re trying. Go you!
You’re working at it. Great. Nobody likes or wants to be a quitter.

When is enough enough? People can leave jobs due to bad managers. Sure, but most leave due to pay or lack of advancement, but often that is tied to their environment, which is established by the manager or the organization’s culture.

Are you just hanging on because you remembered a time when it was great? (This will hit home with some of my radio and record company friends). Facebook memories can provide a necessary perspective. It’s always fun to look at 2-3-year-old pictures from your current or last job and see how many people no longer work there. Turnover and bad management hits home when you can see it all in one picture.

You stick around because they had a good relationship with one boss maybe three managers ago. Honestly, I’ve had more bad than good managers in my life. I’ve had enough good ones to remind me how things should be, but certainly, many bad ones that taught me to identify the signs that this situation will never get better. The same goes for relationships and hobbies I probably never should have started (I brewed three batches of homemade beer, which was enough).

Do you genuinely LOVE “it”? Does it bring you joy and all the other feelings you expect it to convey? Or does the frustration and consumption of your time make you obsess to the point of “love”? Is that love, or maybe just what we think it is because we always work at it? That’s what we were taught about love, right?–it’s a lot of work!

Tryharder to seek out the truth in your relationships and the consumers of your time. Do you love this person, thing, or situation, or do you spend so much time thinking about it (and complaining) that you assume it’s love?

I am not asking you to quit your career, relationship, or dreams of being the world’s greatest pickleball player. I am trying to shake you out of your doing things for the sake of doing things mentality and push you to think about your actions and where to place your emotions

This life thing is too short for you to sit around waiting for (fill in the blank) to get better. You have to keep moving and putting yourself in healthy and fulfilling situations and to do that; a few painful breakups may be necessary.

Does anyone want to buy 144 empty beer bottles?