Almost every self-help writer or “Motivational Monday” social media poster will tell you to be selfless, give back to others, and live a “life of service.” I’ve written 1000s of words that would lead you to believe that this is a healthy practice and the answer to true happiness.

Maybe we’re all wrong?

We must look out for each other and give back to the next generation. When it comes to being human, that will be eternally important. People have to learn some things the hard way, but if we can clear the road a bit and point them in the right direction sooner than we found it, we accomplish more as a society. If you purposely withhold knowledge or abilities to watch someone dangle in the wind, that signifies insecurity and privilege. Not to mention many swear words can be used to describe you.

John Bunyan, an English writer and preacher from the 1600s, once said, “You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” I read that about nine months ago and typed it into the notes section of my iPhone, but more importantly, I have taken that to heart in my daily actions. I’m not trying to win some nonexistent kindness contest, but I honestly try my best every day to be a kind and decent person. Regardless of the number of knives in my back and the scars I’ve collected, I will always #Tryharder for those who value me. Because of that, I live unapologetically.

Although I do not recommend keeping score in life, I advocate taking inventory of your relationships, being present in your boundaries, and being conscious of your bandwidth. Selflessness has immense value but can drain you faster than it fills you.

In short, be a good person. Give your time and knowledge and work towards your personal growth and the benefit of others. However, don’t ever be so accommodating to others that you become a speed bump in their life. It’s important to be selfless and giving, but it’s not good to be asphalt.