I don’t read like I used to! None of us do. I start my day by reading and scanning through about a hundred pages of timely information so I can help inform my radio audience on what is happening in the world at this moment. It’s my job to know what streets will be closed this weekend, what actor or singer won what award and the insane thing Kanye West did last night. I comb through all the popular websites and read through the emails I receive from various subscription services and somehow I pile all that into a five hour radio show. By 10am each weekday, I’ve already been awake for 5 hours and have absorbed a ridiculous amount of information.  Much of it will be rendered useless within twenty-four hours of reading it.    

When the kids go to bed and it’s just my wife and I sitting in our bedroom, it’s hard for me to pick up one of the four books that are sitting on my end table. More often than not, the last thing I want to do is cram more information into my already tired brain. We live in a world of information overload and I am right there in the center of it all.  It’s amazing how much you can soak up in a day, but forget where you put your phone or keys.    

I didn’t pick up a book for over a year after I graduated college. I would look at books like an eight year old would look at a lima bean on a dinner plate. Yuck!  In order to graduate in four years, I had a lot to cram into my head in a short period of time and when it was all said and done; reading and I needed a break from each other. The best I could pick up in that year after college was a pop culture magazine because the internet wasn’t the machine it is today. 

Honesty, I love reading books, but the stress of committing myself overcomes me at times. For the same reason I can’t take on any new television shows till I finish the current ones, it’s hard for me to start a new book. I just don’t have the bandwidth or the emotional energy that comes with the commitment. Yet, I have four books sitting there staring at me like a dog that needs to be taken outside to pee. 

(Dog voice) “Hey!  Hey!  Hey!  C’mon. Open me up!  Let’s do this!  Read me!!!

Despite the lack of bandwidth, I recently started reading a book that was gifted to me by the author himself (Don Forrester). He had recently purchased my two books and sent both of his to me. It was very kind of him and because of his book, More than Enough, I have the inspiration for this chapter. 

There is a thinking exercise in the book about self-reflection and I thought I would share it with you.  The author was asked to write a six word memoir on his life and so I took on the challenge and did this exercise myself.  This is now the #Tryharder message for this chapter…#Tryharder to be more reflective and self-aware. 

So here are my six words:

1.  Uncomfortable. 

I am uncomfortable with compliments. People are kind to say nice things, but I don’t really know how to react. I say thank you. I smile. I’m embarrassed when I win awards and often make light of my accomplishments so that we can move on to something else. I don’t want to come across as pompous, I’d rather be disarming and approachable. I will brag about my kids and wife, and give them all the glory, but I don’t want people to make too much of a fuss over me and my accomplishments.  I have gotten better about being more accepting of this praise, but I will never truly be comfortable.

It’s uncomfortable to do this exercise. I love sharing my ideas and life stories, but it’s hard to sum myself up in six words and then wonder if I’m coming across as a pretentious jerk.  It’s healthy to do uncomfortable tasks sometimes and that’s why I’m doing it. 

2. Tested 

I haven’t taken one untested breath in my life.  Life has done a good job of letting me off the wrestling mat just before I get pinned or knocked out, but know that nothing has ever come easy-despite how it may look to the rest of the world. I have physical and metal scars and have “rubbed dirt on it” more times than I can count.  I am patient because I am tested.  I am strong because I am tested. 

3. Joyful

Despite being tested and uncomfortable, I am extremely joyful. I think the happiest of people are the ones who have had some of the biggest heartaches and challenges in life. You can’t truly be happy unless you have taken a few bumps and bruises and have EARNED that happiness.  I feel for the people who have had it easy in life because they don't have a clue what it’s like to deal when real challenges present themselves. They tend to overreact and often crumble because they have not felt the true weight of life. I’m joyful because deep down inside I feel like I’m blessed to be who I am, where I am and who I’m with in life. I’m joyful because I’ve earned it. 

4. Unsatisfied. 

Almost a contradiction to the previous word, right?  You can be both. I’m never “done” with anything I’ve ever started. It could always be better. For years I have been trying to figure out why I am never truly satisfied or over the moon happy with anything. I’m not depressed about it, I’m just not finished. Everything in my life is a work in progress. 

Have you ever seen Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians in cars getting coffee on Netflix?  It’s great!  There’s an episode where he picks up Jerry Lewis and they go out for breakfast.  While taking about the art of standup Lewis says this...

“I think the reason it’s tiring is we’re never satisfied. Comedy, it’s caution thrown to the wind. I’ve been dissatisfied with some of the funniest sh#t I ever put on film.”

When Jerry Lewis said this--I stood up, put my hands on my head and started to smile. I paused, backed it up and watched it two more times before completing the episode. For years, I have wondered about why I am like this and thought there was something wrong with me. Jerry Lewis summed up my life’s internal monologue with just a handful of words!  It’s fine to be unsatisfied as long as you put that energy to work and not let it hold you back. 

5. Selfless. 

I only include this word because too many important people in my life have used this word to describe me. My wife, kids, parents and best friends have all used “selfless” when talking to me or about me. I trust these people, so I included it.    

6.  Reflective 

I’ve written over 200,000 words in the past six years. Many of which have made their way into books. All of which are rooted in lessons from my life. It’s safe to say I’m reflective.  It’s also why this exercise spoke to me. 

What are your six words?