#Tryharder

It happens at some point in your life when you have to come to the realization that the things your parents put you through didn't kill you. What was embarrassing or disastrous to you at a young age, would come back to teach you a lesson at some point later in life; even if the initial intention wasn't to teach you a life lesson.

You have to go through some form of struggle early in life if you are going to have any realistic perspective as you grow older. All the times my parents told me to "toughen up" as a kid has paid dividends in my adult life and has provided me a more realistic perspective as an adult. Unless the sky is actually falling, then the sky is never really falling in my world. Not something you realize till you get older, but things have a way of working themselves out. They still might be tough pills to swallow, but they won't kill you.

You will also learn that those "toughen up" moments provide for great storylines and even better cocktail party style ice breakers. Telling a story about how you showered outside for 3 months in a homemade shower stall you built in a grouping of trees at age 16, because you were living in the house as it was being built, is far more interesting than how much money you lost in the stock market last week. Disagree? Come to the next party I'm invited to and watch me connect with a room. Real pain, life experience, emotions and embarrassment conveyed in a matter of fact and comical way bridges the communication gap better than superficial life experiences that are void of any true emotion. Showering outside is way more interesting than buying Bank of America stock. Just don't tell these stories as if you are looking for sympathy, but rather showing how strong you are and your ability to overcome while keeping a smile on your face the entire time. People can relate, yet at the same time have a healthy curiosity about the things they most likely have no experience with. Have you showered outside for 3 months? Probably not, but I bet you have questions as to why and how. "How did you heat up the water" and "how much water does it take to shower" are usually the first two questions that come up.   Nothing against the stock market, but life experience trumps financial conversations. Looking back it wasn't that bad, but as a 16 year old kid, it kept me from inviting friends or dates over to the house. It was the end of the world back then, but now just fodder for ice breakers and jumping points in chapters and blogs.

Stand-up comedians are not looking for your sympathy when they are on stage, instead they are looking for a connection. They are using a relatable feeling or experience to hook you into a story and then twist and turn you into laughing at the pauses along the way. If they stood up on stage and told you a sad story, all you would feel is sympathy and nobody wants to hang out with that person. It's one thing to tell a crowd of people that your parents used to spank you, it's another thing to paint and illustrate an elaborate comical story on the ordeal that most of us can relate to, but laugh at. When you are trying to connect with a room, people are not attracted to the sad sack. They like the person that took a moment and grew from it. Most of us were spanked, so we can relate and the comedian can use that as a jumping point for a string of jokes.

This is not a chapter about how to hide your feelings or bury the guilt and pain from your childhood, it's about realizing that all of us need to go through some "stuff" in life in order to come out on the other side stronger and wiser. Tell me a story about a strong person you know and I would wager that they dealt with some pain or had to overcome something to get there. I use my experiences to tell stories that I can share with the people that read my writings. I don't believe I've had a tougher life than anyone else, nor do I seek out sympathy for what I have experienced. I tell my stories so that I can relate and connect with others in the cocktail party of life.

#Tryharder to understand that you are often put through the wringer today so that you are better equipped to handle something later on in life. Know that we are all connected somehow and that you may need to experience something so that someone else can learn from it too. I often journal my experiences and takeaways as reminders of what I've learned from these moments. Maybe on day my children will read these offerings and it helps them cope with something in their lives too. Embrace your bumps in life and realize they were put there to make you stronger and wiser. They were put there as a stepping stone to something possibly more complex later in life or as a moment to pull from that would allow you to connect with others that may need those words or wisdom in their life.

You never know who you might help today.