Murphy kids

Sitting and watching Orange is the New Black the other night and I randomly had a memory about having to get a sports physical when I was in high school. Weird right? Nothing about the episode triggered it-it was just one of those odd flashbacks that resurface from time to time. Not some strange repressed memory where I suddenly feel scarred from having to turn my head and cough, but one of laughter. Uncontrollable laughter.

We've all done it. Laughing till we cannot control ourselves; brought on by nervous feelings and thoughts. Please tell me I am not alone in this? Almost every time I am at the doctor’s office, I get a strange feeling that comes over me. That feeling of nervous laughter and as I walk into any doctor’s office, my brain always seems to pull up this memory. Psychologists probably have some over analyzed term for this, but I'll just call it laughter brought on by nerves. I laugh even more when I think of this story.

My brother Michael and I were sitting in the reception area waiting for our names to be called, so we could go in and face the inevitable. A man, who we hope is wearing gloves, was about to touch our balls. Although we had had physicals before, for some reason this time was met with uncontrollable laughter. Tears rolling, stomach hurting and can't breathe kind of laughter.

I am not sure what triggered it or why this doctor’s appointment was any different than the rest, but Michael and I lost our shit. Red faced, trying to catch our breath with tears rolling down our faces. I'm sure we were an embarrassment to our poor mother who was sitting down and giving us "the look". No matter how serious she looked at us, we just couldn't stop the giggling.

Laughter is a great coping mechanism. Whenever life hits me with anything, I always seem to find a way to make a joke or laugh of it. I don't see it as a way to mask the gravity of a situation, nor is it a sign of immaturity. I think when you face enough adversity or challenges in life, laughter just makes more sense than melting down. Like a pressure release of a balloon that has been overinflated, laughter is the ultimate release.

There are not too many moments in life that couldn’t benefit from some needed levity. Think about all the situations you've faced in life. How many of those would be improved by a few chuckles? It's just as important to laugh as it is to cry, but laughter seems to be a little more socially acceptable. When you are crying, people want to know what's wrong, but when you’re laughing, people want to know what they are missing out on.

Again, I accept the gravity of the situation, but it won't stop me from making a joke on my, or someone else's, death bed. Honesty, after I tell everyone how much I love them before I die, I want to end on a joke. If my last words on this earth were "that's what she said" I think that would be awesome! Ending on a punchline opposed to a flat line is the best way to go.

Before his wake, my sister Kim and I got a few hours to ourselves to sit next to our brother Michael's casket and just talk. The same room my brother and I stood in before we buried Jimmy more than 25 years prior. As we held hands, we took turns trying to remember things or say things that would make the other person laugh. Crying was inevitable, but laughing was necessary. We are Irish and we are naturally funny, so that's what we do. We didn't just tell each other stories, we also tried to one up each other with who could say the worst and most wrong thing to the other. I will always win at this because I have the ability to take things farther and darker than most. Nothing is truly off limits and sometimes I am guilty of taking things too for. Yet, it's not like my brother was going to get up and pound me was he? (See what I did there?).

Laughter is a powerful thing. Don't discount it or restrain it from happening. Sure, you have to maintain professionalism at times, but life is too short to not at least attempt to balance the gravity of a situation with a bit of humor.

Stop taking yourself so serious.