I showed up for college more than a week before the rest of the school was required to check in. Not because I wanted to get a good head start on my college education, but because I was in the marching band.

 Now before you start making all the band geek jokes or tease me about "this one time, at band camp", I would like to point out that I passed on two opportunities to play Junior College baseball in order to go to a four year school closer to home. Playing the trombone was something that I was good enough at, that it allowed me an opportunity to pay a little less to go to school. That, and yes, band girls were easy. Well, some were...  I kid.

 Think about it. All these freshman girls, fresh out of high school, looking to talk to a college guy. Also, as a college guy, you wanted to have first crack at hitting on these girls before the rest of the school showed up; along with all the better looking and more interesting guys for them to talk to. You had to act and move fast!  Especially if you were a band nerd. You had to convince them you were cool before they met people who were actually cool.

 Along with all my fellow band nerds, many of the athletes had to show up to college early and because of that, I got a jump start on meeting my first real college roommate. He played basketball and had just transferred from a Junior College. In an effort to keep him somewhat anonymous, in case he ever decided to run for office, I will not share his name. I don't want to be the reason he never gets elected and if he does get elected, he will certainly need to pay me hush money.

 He was older than me, already had two years of college under his belt and knew things about girls that even my older brother never shared with me. For a young 18 year old kid from a small town in Texas, he was the best ambassador for college life a guy could ask for.

 We took a little time sizing each other up and learning a little bit about each other. He shaved every day, while I shaved once a month. He was a lot taller than me and had dialed in his swagger and confidence. I actually grew an inch when I turned 18. I was also still trying to figure out who I was and what college was all about.

 Before me, nobody in my family had ever gone to college, so a lot of my first days and month revolved around trying to keep the world from spinning too fast and finding balance in my college life. Most likely, if you went to college, you have an idea of what I am talking about. Like a rookie QB in the NFL, it takes a minute before the game slows down enough for you to catch on. That's the first 3 months of college.

 I was still dating the girl from my home town at the time and trying to understand what I was going to do about all that. Like many of the "girls back home", she was still in high school and seeing her, even though my college was only 186 miles away, was still a challenge. I marched in the band on weekends so that made it even more difficult. In a matter of a few months, our relationship ran its course and I was able to focus my romantic intentions elsewhere. On college girls.

 My roommate never had a problem with getting the attention of the opposite sex. He was a good looking guy and, like I said earlier, had the confidence that comes with 2 years of college experience. For him, it was never an issue of finding girls. His issue was trying to balance them all. Lucky for him, he had a very organized and task oriented roommate that could help to keep his relationship affairs in order. (And talk to his mom when she called to check in on him-he hardly ever came home at night).

 I struggled my first semester in college. Between being homesick, not knowing what to expect from college and generally overwhelmed by the whole experience; my grades were borderline. When I wasn't in class, I was studying in the library or in the room. My life was 90% school work and 10% fun. I also lived on 20 bucks a month, so any fun that I had was very budget friendly.

 After a few months of living in the same dorm room, we became very comfortable and honest with each other. My roommate began to impart his knowledge and experience to me. He too came from a small Texas town. He too had done the "girl back home" thing. He too had an older brother that didn't teach him everything he needed to know about girls.

 He gave me two pieces of advice in the year we lived together. Till this day, I still use these words in my life and career.

 Lesson #1:  Balance is important. Your work will suffer if you do not let loose and have some fun from time to time.

 The reason my grades were borderline was because I was too buried in my school work. You can't feed the flame of knowledge unless you give it some air every once in a while. College is supposed to be work, but the only memories you share with others are the ones related to fun. During my first semester in college, I didn't have any real stories to share because I was not allowing myself to have fun. I was scared that, if I had fun, I would certainly fail at school. Growing up thinking you were not meant to go to college, because nobody in your family ever went, created an insecurity and a fear of impending failure unless you immersed yourself into your work.  I didn't understand balance. Once I did, my grades jumped and I finished my college career in 4 years. Lots of As and Bs.

 Lesson #2:  Tell them bitches what's up. 

 Yes, it sounds crude. You have to understand the life group of the time. We never called girls that name (bitches) to their face, but many young men at this age used this word in an effort to sound "hard" in front of their friends. I am sure girls had something derogatory for us as well. I hope?  In order to drive the point across to me, my roommate used the word and I understand what he meant.

 He had sat and listened to me talk to girl after girl on the phone, using my limited "mack" skills and he had had enough.  My talents had gotten me some attention, but I was striking out or getting put in the "friend zone" more that I was getting to 2nd base. I was doing what I thought I should be doing-playing the game. Working the angles and running around in circles to get and maintain the attention of the opposite sex. I had no idea what I was doing and I wasn't being myself.

 He then began to explain that if you stop lying or playing games and just come clean, you would have more success. Stop trying to be cute and work on just putting it out there. "Hey, I like you. If you are into me, then let's hang out. If not, no big deal". 

 After years of playing games, wondering if she likes me or not and trying to read between the lines of the notes that were passed between classes; it all suddenly came clear that none of that shit was working. In the end, being honest and forthcoming was the key to successful relationships.

 I became addicted to the truth and because of that, I was never lonely on a Saturday night. I was successful and confident because I had nothing to hide. The truth shall set you free!!! 

 My roommate went on to become a successful person in business. He has a beautiful wife, big house, an awesome family and we are still friends till this day. Life has been good for him and he deserves all the success he has been blessed with. 

 I learn things from people every day. I weave those life lessons into my life and often share them in my books and blogs. Those two big takeaways that were given to me by my roommate are things I still use in my business and personal life day in and day out. I balance my work and personal life. I enjoy my work and I enjoy my family. Life is good.

 I also still tell them "bitches" what's up. But the "bitches" these days are the people I interact with every day. I don't lie. I don't play games and I don't do "surface" relationships. If you are in my life, then you get the real me and all the energy and knowledge I have to give. You get the truth and you get what's in my heart. So far, it's worked out pretty good for me.

 Balance your life. Tell them "bitches" what's up. Do the right thing and don't put yourself in situations where you have to lie or apologize. You will hurt some feelings, but that's part of the journey. In the end, you'll be happier, healthier and more successful. You deserve all those things, so stop sabotaging yourself. 

 PS-My old roommate will probably read this and if he does, he will know that I used to make out with his sister in the dorm parking lot. Sorry man, but thanks for your help in the swagger department.