I am 15+ years removed from the world of dating and the thought of being single scares me to death. I didn't have the "tools" of courtship that today's single people possess. Daters today have text messaging, social media, email and more. In order to learn more about the person you are going out with for the first time on Friday; all you have to do is look them up on Facebook and hope they don't have their account set to private.
You can learn a ton of things from just a few minutes of Facebook stalking. Where they go, who they hang out with, what they love, hate, read, watch and does for fun. There is no such thing as a traditional first date anymore because you will get a lot of the basics out of the way from your time online. Years ago, gathering this type of knowledge would get you labeled as a stalker. Today, it's par for the course of dating.
When I was dating, you had to ask around about a girl. You had to be careful, because if you spoke to her friends, they might report back to the girl. Doing this was risky because her friends could really, as we referred to it as in college, "throw salt in your game". Nobody wants salt thrown in their game.
Doing your homework, no matter your tactic, is as important in business as it is with dating. If you can avoid going into a meeting blindly, do it. Having any edge of any kind is important if you are looking to make a connection or an impression. I make new connections all of the time and I do my homework whenever I can. I have also had people do their homework on me. I am surprised how many people read my blog or have checked me out on social media.
Yet, like dating, it's important that you don't come across as if you've done too much homework. Too much makes it look like you've been trying too hard and that can be a negative. Tact is important. Know when to move in for the kiss and when you want to steer the conversation.
Years ago, I was preparing for a meeting with a President of a broadcasting company. He was a big deal in the industry and impressing him could possibly open doors for me down the road. It turns out that I happened to have just read a book that he was very fond us. I took the time to learn a few other little things about him. Enough to keep the small talk going till I could hit him with bigger questions or statements. Without forcing it into the conversation or making it obvious, I quoted the book in one of my answers. He acknowledged the reference with a smile, but never commented. I had made a connection with him. The tone of the conversation went from Q and A to more of just a discussion of two guys on the same level. Just two guys talking about the future of the industry. Two people on a first date that was headed towards a second one. Quoting the book and doing my homework helped to make the connection. It changed my career.
He offered me a job a few weeks later.
