I live a blessed life.
In a "why me God" world, where I have had my share of bad times, I can't get too depressed without telling myself to knock it off. It's not eternal optimism. It's just me being honest with myself about what life is all about and how I choose to navigate through the ups and downs.
My brother had his share of bad times. Admittedly so, as he would honestly tell you, was a combination of bad luck and stupidity. Trouble would find him, but more often than not, he would seek it out on his own and meet it head on. He would get depressed just like anyone else, but would always come to the realization that the product of the outcome was always determined by the choices he made. Reading back on old text messages from him and up until the time of his death, he would always say "I love my life". Michael was a 40 year old man, trying to get his life together, while knowingly tripping himself up along the way, chose to love his life.
As hard as it is sometimes, that's all you can do. Love your life.
It's not about the big things. Life, as I have written about it before, is mostly about the little things. The moments that remain uniquely yours and how they are captured in your memory. Glimpses of moments and brief life fragments that you can remember vividly... at the same time you try to remember where the hell you left your keys. Regrets and words you wished you didn't say play over and over in your head no matter how often you tell yourself to forget them. Not remembering the last name of that person you thought you were in love with, but remembering the time you ate ice cream in the back of the truck on the way home from swimming. It's amazing what is branded into that brain of yours and how much information flows out of it like a sieve; never to be remembered again.
My father told me this past weekend, as we were at a baseball game in Houston, that my kids have experienced more fun things in their short lives than he did in his first 40. He's probably right. We never went on vacations when we were growing up and the only time we traveled more than 100 miles from the house was when someone got married and they were close enough to us where we HAD to go. We would then try to do something around that trip that required fishing, eating somewhere cool, looking at something historic or all of the above. This was our version of a vacation. My kids have been to Disneyworld 8 times and my oldest is 6. Life and memories, despite how much Mickey Mouse would want you to believe, is not about the big things, but rather the moments that evolve into the best stories.
My children got to meet Taylor Swift a few months ago. Pretty cool right? My daughter had a 10 minute conversation with Taylor about everything under the sun. We took pictures, got autographs and our Facebook pictures were liked by hundreds. The night was that of dreams for many people and we do not take that for granted. The real story of the night, which we will be telling for the rest of our lives, was how my son Sean was not impressed with Taylor Swift at all. His only concern was how much longer he was going to have to wait till someone bought him some popcorn. "Hey Sean, you got to meet Taylor Swift". His response... "Yeah, but I wanted popcorn".
It's the little things.
It's not the huge gift you got them on Christmas Day that you remember. It's the 2 hours they spent making a pirate ship out of the box. It's not the baseball game or who won. It's watching your kids eat hot dogs and cheer for whatever team daddy says are the "good guys". It's not going to your first big high school party, but the fact your brother asked you if you wanted to go with him. It's not the gravity of your wedding day, but how your wife looked in the dress.
If you go through life expecting it to be a series of huge events that makeup the timeline of your life...you will be very disappointed. It's the little things. Those are the things that stick in your brain when all the seemingly "important, or "major" things seem to be so easily forgotten.
