I meet a lot of people in my profession. I shake so many hands in a given day, that it is a necessity to have a vat of hand sanitizer on the corner of my desk.
I would like to think that one of my better qualities is my ability to be memorable. Whenever meeting someone new, especially in business, it is important to leave them with a lasting impression. If they too meet tons of new people in a day-how will you stand out from the pack? What makes you memorable? They need to walk away with at least one positive takeaway from the brief or extensive conversation. Not Ten. They just need one.
It's important to be somewhat worldly. You have to be able to speak on a wide array of topics. If you cannot contribute to the conversation, for whatever reason, then you have to learn to ask solid questions to stay engaged in the discussion. Unfortunately, this is where many people fall short. Some of us are so focused on our profession that we struggle when the natural flow of conversation deviates from the preferred topic. Very few of us have ever climbed the Swiss Alps, but we should be able to contribute or be engaged in the conversation if someone in the room has.
If you want to be more successful in creating relationships, you almost have to approach every new interaction as if it's a first date. Naturally, we want all of our new relationships, both in business and in life, to be successful. It's doesn't need to be "all about you" for your first meeting to be successful. So many people make this mistake. They feel, in order to leave a lasting impression, that the conversation needs to be all about them. By shoehorning information about yourself into the conversation, you will not be successful. You may emote some of your worst traits and make a lasting negative impression.
Ever been on a date where all the other person does is talk about them? Ever been in a room where the insecure person tries to force the natural progression of conversation to be all about them? What we learn about that person, out of their desperation, is how insecure they are. During this moment, they attempted to make a lasting impression by showcasing their worst qualities. I once started a new job and the person who was going to directly report to me proceeded to tell me all the things that they are not good at. This person felt that this was the best way to fill the awkward first meeting of boss/employee. Yes, it made a lasting impression. Sometimes it's like watching an old Chris Farley sketch on SNL. The one where he does the quotation marks with his fingers as he shares with the audience all of his shortcomings. I don't "bathe often". I'm not "politically correct". I don't "work well with others"....
You cannot allow yourself to be a one trick pony in the conversation department. You have to be interesting, engaging and above all a better listener than a speaker. By knowing where in the conversation to strategically plant seeds about yourself or lead the other person deeper into a topic you want to stay on, you have to be able to actively listen. Also, don't allow just one thing to define you. Be interesting and interested in other topics. Be able to stay engaged about things you have little to know interest in. Work on being worldly by taking a cooking class or reading a book about something you have little interest in.
Most of the time you are not in a setting where, when the conversation runs cold, you can just move to another table. Business and creating new relationships is not speed dating. Yet, even with speed dating, there is a cocktail party afterwards where you can carry on a longer conversation where people can then ruin the experience by telling you how much she loves having 12 cats or that he still lives with his mother.
#bemomorable #dating #speeddating #chrisfarley #snl #relationships #business
