Today I was driving in South Austin and I stopped at a
light. Suddenly, as I looked around, I realized that my surroundings were very
familiar. The names of the businesses and the color of the buildings had
changed, but the memories came rushing at me like a locomotive. I was in my old
neighborhood.
light. Suddenly, as I looked around, I realized that my surroundings were very
familiar. The names of the businesses and the color of the buildings had
changed, but the memories came rushing at me like a locomotive. I was in my old
neighborhood.
The light turned green and instead of listening to Siri,
telling me to turn left, I turned right. Although I had never driven the
streets, I knew them well. The Safeway that is now a Sprouts. The BBQ place that was now a Mexican restaurant.
The neighborhood that was huge in the eyes of an 8 year old kid was now just a
couple of blocks of strip malls and some older and more established houses that
could use a bit of TLC.
telling me to turn left, I turned right. Although I had never driven the
streets, I knew them well. The Safeway that is now a Sprouts. The BBQ place that was now a Mexican restaurant.
The neighborhood that was huge in the eyes of an 8 year old kid was now just a
couple of blocks of strip malls and some older and more established houses that
could use a bit of TLC.
I took a second right and recited the address aloud by
memory. "6905 Cannon League Drive".
There it was, on the left hand side of the street, right across from the
alleyway behind the strip mall. My family and I lived in this house from the
time I was in 2nd grade though 5th.
memory. "6905 Cannon League Drive".
There it was, on the left hand side of the street, right across from the
alleyway behind the strip mall. My family and I lived in this house from the
time I was in 2nd grade though 5th.
There used to be a tree in the front yard that I would
lay under and read the backs of baseball cards. Committing the card number,
wins, home runs, batting average, jersey number and position to memory. I can't
remember what my wife said to me 10 minutes ago, but I can tell you that Dale
Murphy hit 36 home runs in 1983.
lay under and read the backs of baseball cards. Committing the card number,
wins, home runs, batting average, jersey number and position to memory. I can't
remember what my wife said to me 10 minutes ago, but I can tell you that Dale
Murphy hit 36 home runs in 1983.
On the sidewalk in front of the house, my brothers and I
would build some sweet ramps to do some kick ass jumps off of. Mike once jumped
his bike and ran over Jimmy's leg. His leg was fine and nothing got broke, but
Jimmy did shout the phrase "I need a new knee" over and over again
till we all started to laugh. Mom took away our cement blocks and wood after
that.
would build some sweet ramps to do some kick ass jumps off of. Mike once jumped
his bike and ran over Jimmy's leg. His leg was fine and nothing got broke, but
Jimmy did shout the phrase "I need a new knee" over and over again
till we all started to laugh. Mom took away our cement blocks and wood after
that.
My sister was the only one of us that didn't have to
share a room. Well, because she was the only girl. In the back bedroom, while
Jimmy slept, Michael and I would throw water on each other and frog each
other's arms to stay awake long enough to watch Elvira on the weekend. We all
got measles and head lice at the same time and Jimmy and I slept in bunk beds
that my mom built from scrap lumber that my dad brought home from various
construction jobs.
In the kitchen we had, what was meant to be, an outdoor
picnic table with one of those floral print plastic table covers. This was the
only way all 6 of us could eat dinner at the same time. In the den was a record player and I remember
setting the needle on records by Bobby Bare, Hoyt Axton, Hank Jr. and any other
artist my dad wanted to hear, at volume level 11, after he got off work on Friday
nights. Possibly the start of my DJ career?
picnic table with one of those floral print plastic table covers. This was the
only way all 6 of us could eat dinner at the same time. In the den was a record player and I remember
setting the needle on records by Bobby Bare, Hoyt Axton, Hank Jr. and any other
artist my dad wanted to hear, at volume level 11, after he got off work on Friday
nights. Possibly the start of my DJ career?
One time, an older neighborhood kid picked on me and my brother
Michael chased him down to his house. The kid closed the screen door and stuck
his tongue out at Michael. Michael then punched the kid through the screen. 45
minutes later I got to meet my first police officer as he sat, at our picnic
table in the kitchen, explaining to my brother that maybe doing that wasn't the
best idea. My dad drank a beer in front of the cop and I can only imagine that
this was some strange form of rebellion. My father had punched his share of
kids back when he was Michael's age and I am sure that his father drank a beer
when the cops knocked on his door.
Michael chased him down to his house. The kid closed the screen door and stuck
his tongue out at Michael. Michael then punched the kid through the screen. 45
minutes later I got to meet my first police officer as he sat, at our picnic
table in the kitchen, explaining to my brother that maybe doing that wasn't the
best idea. My dad drank a beer in front of the cop and I can only imagine that
this was some strange form of rebellion. My father had punched his share of
kids back when he was Michael's age and I am sure that his father drank a beer
when the cops knocked on his door.
I started my first business in this neighborhood when I
was 8. I put up signs and went door to door asking people if I could rake their
yard for a dollar. I would collect the leaves and bring them back to my front
yard so we could jump in them later. In true Tom Sawyer fashion, I got smarter
and convinced a few other kids to do the work for me. I took 50 cents and they
split the rest between them. They were my (well my dad's) rakes and I brokered the
deal, so I felt validated to take the most money. At age 8 I was a yard raking
Forman! My dad realized that our yard
was the dumping ground for the leaves and shut down my business before it
really got off the ground. At least I had the best pile of leaves to jump into
for a few days before being forced to bag them and set them by the curb.
was 8. I put up signs and went door to door asking people if I could rake their
yard for a dollar. I would collect the leaves and bring them back to my front
yard so we could jump in them later. In true Tom Sawyer fashion, I got smarter
and convinced a few other kids to do the work for me. I took 50 cents and they
split the rest between them. They were my (well my dad's) rakes and I brokered the
deal, so I felt validated to take the most money. At age 8 I was a yard raking
Forman! My dad realized that our yard
was the dumping ground for the leaves and shut down my business before it
really got off the ground. At least I had the best pile of leaves to jump into
for a few days before being forced to bag them and set them by the curb.
Neighborhood kids would come over to play football in our
backyard because it was on a corner lot and that made it the biggest yard on
the block. The cement patios framed the field and represented the foul lines. While
taking this detour today, I realized that my yard wasn’t as big as I imagined
it to be. I recall it taking forever to
run from the backyard to the back fence.
At glance, from my now adult perspective, that trip is now about 10
large grownup sized steps.
backyard because it was on a corner lot and that made it the biggest yard on
the block. The cement patios framed the field and represented the foul lines. While
taking this detour today, I realized that my yard wasn’t as big as I imagined
it to be. I recall it taking forever to
run from the backyard to the back fence.
At glance, from my now adult perspective, that trip is now about 10
large grownup sized steps.
I was allowed to ride around the block by myself and
bicycles were the only form of after school transportation. I could be gone for
hours and nobody would ever wonder or worry.
bicycles were the only form of after school transportation. I could be gone for
hours and nobody would ever wonder or worry.
At 9, I was old enough to pick my younger brother Jimmy
up from daycare and walk with him the additional 1.3 miles to our home. This was a few minutes before my brother and
sister would get home from school and just enough time to grab a quick snack. I
opened the front door with a key that I wore on a string around my neck. I
never really heard the phrase "latchkey kid" till I went to college,
but I guess that's what I was.
up from daycare and walk with him the additional 1.3 miles to our home. This was a few minutes before my brother and
sister would get home from school and just enough time to grab a quick snack. I
opened the front door with a key that I wore on a string around my neck. I
never really heard the phrase "latchkey kid" till I went to college,
but I guess that's what I was.
We would chase down the ice cream truck in the
summer. If we missed him, we would ride
our bikes fast, stop and listen and then ride fast again. If we caught him, my
dad insisted we got him something as well.
summer. If we missed him, we would ride
our bikes fast, stop and listen and then ride fast again. If we caught him, my
dad insisted we got him something as well.
Michael and I would jog to 7-11 on Sunday morning, with
every quarter we owned, just to play the Punch-Out arcade game. (Punch-Out! Not
the Mike Tyson version). We were pissed when they changed it out for another
arcade game. We stopped jogging after that and settled for the Atari and the
13" black and white TV that sat in our bedroom closet. Although my dad
knew we had one, he would get pissed when he saw us play it if there was
daylight outside.
every quarter we owned, just to play the Punch-Out arcade game. (Punch-Out! Not
the Mike Tyson version). We were pissed when they changed it out for another
arcade game. We stopped jogging after that and settled for the Atari and the
13" black and white TV that sat in our bedroom closet. Although my dad
knew we had one, he would get pissed when he saw us play it if there was
daylight outside.
Halloween was during football season, so in order to save
money, we would dress as football players when we trick or treated.
money, we would dress as football players when we trick or treated.
Juan Padilla's mom didn't speak a word of English and
would yell into our backyard around dinnertime. We always assumed he was in
trouble because she always sounded so pissed off and Juan would leave our yard
with his head down. Juan could never hit my fastball and that too would piss
him off.
would yell into our backyard around dinnertime. We always assumed he was in
trouble because she always sounded so pissed off and Juan would leave our yard
with his head down. Juan could never hit my fastball and that too would piss
him off.
Our dog Katie would escape from the backyard at least
once a week and one of those escapes produced several puppies that were birthed
in a cardboard box in our backyard. I used the skills I perfected from asking
neighbors if I could rake their yards to help give the puppies away. Soon,
several people in our neighborhood had black and white puppies. Katie later got
fixed and I didn't really know what that meant, but assumed it was something
she needed to get done.
once a week and one of those escapes produced several puppies that were birthed
in a cardboard box in our backyard. I used the skills I perfected from asking
neighbors if I could rake their yards to help give the puppies away. Soon,
several people in our neighborhood had black and white puppies. Katie later got
fixed and I didn't really know what that meant, but assumed it was something
she needed to get done.
I got in my first fight, had my first kiss, picked up my
first scars and created countless first time memories that could fill pages and
pages of a book based on the first 10 years of my life.
first scars and created countless first time memories that could fill pages and
pages of a book based on the first 10 years of my life.
This life occurred before I was forced to learn about
sex. Before the truth about Santa Clause. Before my confidence was ever rattled
and before I was forced to learn about mortality and the loss of a brother. Now
brothers. Before life forced me to #Tryharder.
sex. Before the truth about Santa Clause. Before my confidence was ever rattled
and before I was forced to learn about mortality and the loss of a brother. Now
brothers. Before life forced me to #Tryharder.
These were my Wonder Years.
Like many of us, my wife has a bad case of "doggie
bag guilt". You know, when you can’t finish your meal at the restaurant
and you take the food home only to leave it in the fridge for a week (sometimes
more) and the whole time knowing that you would never get around to eating it.
You even knew this when you were taking the time to scoop it into the Styrofoam
container, but you did it anyway.
You know damn well you will never reheat that pasta.
French fries suck when you microwave them. What the hell are you going to do
with just 5 nachos anyway?
French fries suck when you microwave them. What the hell are you going to do
with just 5 nachos anyway?
Guilt. Guilt is the reason you brought that food home.
Guilt is a powerful thing. Maybe it's the brainwash job your parents did to you
growing up? You know, the one about the starving kids in Ethiopia or Africa.
Those commercials with the flies and the kids with extended bellies and Sally
Struthers telling you to donate your coffee money? They did a number on most of
us growing up and our parents used it as leverage to get us to eat our Lima
beans.
Guilt is a powerful thing. Maybe it's the brainwash job your parents did to you
growing up? You know, the one about the starving kids in Ethiopia or Africa.
Those commercials with the flies and the kids with extended bellies and Sally
Struthers telling you to donate your coffee money? They did a number on most of
us growing up and our parents used it as leverage to get us to eat our Lima
beans.
It's ok. You didn't do anything wrong. To quote the emotional
Robin Williams and Matt Damon scene in the Movie Good Will Hunting "It's
not your fault...it's not your fault".
This behavior is a product of your upbringing and the programming that
your family did to your brain.
Robin Williams and Matt Damon scene in the Movie Good Will Hunting "It's
not your fault...it's not your fault".
This behavior is a product of your upbringing and the programming that
your family did to your brain.
Guilt is baggage. Guilt is weight. Guilt often takes up
space in your head and heart; much like that half eaten meatball sandwich. That
sandwich, for some odd reason, you put in the crisper drawer in the fridge. Why
in the crisper? Because you don't want
to see it. Seeing it reminds you of the guilt. Hiding it behind something keeps
you from seeing it when you look in the fridge and realize that you have
"nothing...nothing at all" to eat and order a pizza. Only to leave
that pizza in the box, in your fridge, for 4 days before you toss it out as
well.
space in your head and heart; much like that half eaten meatball sandwich. That
sandwich, for some odd reason, you put in the crisper drawer in the fridge. Why
in the crisper? Because you don't want
to see it. Seeing it reminds you of the guilt. Hiding it behind something keeps
you from seeing it when you look in the fridge and realize that you have
"nothing...nothing at all" to eat and order a pizza. Only to leave
that pizza in the box, in your fridge, for 4 days before you toss it out as
well.
You've got to deal with guilt in your life. You can't let
it consume you and fill the refrigerator shelves of your life. When you take it "home" with you,
then you need to digest it and not let it sit there as a constant reminder of
unfinished business. Unfinished things and shame only hold you back and slow
down your forward progression.
it consume you and fill the refrigerator shelves of your life. When you take it "home" with you,
then you need to digest it and not let it sit there as a constant reminder of
unfinished business. Unfinished things and shame only hold you back and slow
down your forward progression.
We all have baggage. We all have guilt. It's important to
recognize it, process, dispose or consume it. Nobody is forcing you to hang
onto that guilt; just like nobody is forcing you to take home the leftover
lasagna. The server will not judge you. Nor will the people sitting at the
table next to you.
recognize it, process, dispose or consume it. Nobody is forcing you to hang
onto that guilt; just like nobody is forcing you to take home the leftover
lasagna. The server will not judge you. Nor will the people sitting at the
table next to you.
I've said some pretty dumb things in my life. I've hurt
feeling and caused my share of drama. I recognize it, accept it and have
learned from it. It doesn't do any good to sit there, day after day, and let it
weigh on my brain and heart. What's done is done, what was said was said and in
order to grow, I've had to move on. I'm not numb and my heart isn't frozen like
those chicken nuggets that have been in the freezer since 2014. I am just as hard on myself as you are and I
haven't given myself a pardon for my actions.
I just learned to properly stack and sort the things that matter in
life. To not allow my leftovers to become heavier than they need to be. To
throw away items that no longer teach me something or provide
"nourishment" to my overall being. I have forgiven myself for things
that I have done and forgiven others because it's the right thing to do.
feeling and caused my share of drama. I recognize it, accept it and have
learned from it. It doesn't do any good to sit there, day after day, and let it
weigh on my brain and heart. What's done is done, what was said was said and in
order to grow, I've had to move on. I'm not numb and my heart isn't frozen like
those chicken nuggets that have been in the freezer since 2014. I am just as hard on myself as you are and I
haven't given myself a pardon for my actions.
I just learned to properly stack and sort the things that matter in
life. To not allow my leftovers to become heavier than they need to be. To
throw away items that no longer teach me something or provide
"nourishment" to my overall being. I have forgiven myself for things
that I have done and forgiven others because it's the right thing to do.
Clearing the shelves in your life allows for bigger,
better and healthier things to come your way. Take inventory of your heart and
mind and #Tryharder to make the changes needed to move forward.
better and healthier things to come your way. Take inventory of your heart and
mind and #Tryharder to make the changes needed to move forward.
Throw away the guilt. Oh yeah, one more thing, are you
gonna finish that?
A while back my dad asked me to help him move a
tree. It was getting choked out by the
larger trees around it and in order for the tree to thrive, it needed to be
relocated to a new spot on the Murphy ranch. Of all the things to ask me to
help with-he wanted me to help him move a tree?
Moving and protecting trees isn't exactly something my dad is known for.
You see, my dad spent most of my formative years looking
for standing trees, fallen trees and stacks of brush to cut up for fire wood.
He didn't just settle for cutting the trees he owned, he would go and seek out
trees to cut up with his chainsaw. He would ask people if he could cut down
their trees! Whenever the state road crews would knock down trees on the side
of the road to make room for roads or clear these trees from power lines, my
dad would have my brother and I get up early on Saturday just to go and
"steal" this wood for our own use. Some of you have dads that wake up
early on the weekends to go play a round of golf. My dad was swinging
"woods" alright, but not till after he cut them down!
for standing trees, fallen trees and stacks of brush to cut up for fire wood.
He didn't just settle for cutting the trees he owned, he would go and seek out
trees to cut up with his chainsaw. He would ask people if he could cut down
their trees! Whenever the state road crews would knock down trees on the side
of the road to make room for roads or clear these trees from power lines, my
dad would have my brother and I get up early on Saturday just to go and
"steal" this wood for our own use. Some of you have dads that wake up
early on the weekends to go play a round of golf. My dad was swinging
"woods" alright, but not till after he cut them down!
Jim Murphy is somewhat of an amateur lumberjack. He knows
a ton about the science of cutting down trees, but never went pro. My brother
Michael and I would load his chainsaw and other gear into the back of "Old
Blue" (his trusty and rusty pickup truck with around 500k miles on it)
wipe the sleep from our eyes and begrudgingly climb into the cab.
a ton about the science of cutting down trees, but never went pro. My brother
Michael and I would load his chainsaw and other gear into the back of "Old
Blue" (his trusty and rusty pickup truck with around 500k miles on it)
wipe the sleep from our eyes and begrudgingly climb into the cab.
We hated this activity. Absolutely hated it. Besides Jim
Murphy, who the hell wants to wake up and do this shit every weekend? Nobody. What a bullshit hobby! Not a damn
person on earth thinks this is a good idea except for "Big" Jim.
Michael and I were not allowed to swear in front of our parents, but there is a
certain non-verbal communication that siblings have and our faces pretty much
said "fuck this shit".
Murphy, who the hell wants to wake up and do this shit every weekend? Nobody. What a bullshit hobby! Not a damn
person on earth thinks this is a good idea except for "Big" Jim.
Michael and I were not allowed to swear in front of our parents, but there is a
certain non-verbal communication that siblings have and our faces pretty much
said "fuck this shit".
One time, as we headed out to "liberate"
(that's how my dad probably viewed it) this wood from the piled up prison
stacks of brush created by bulldozers; a beautiful and magical thing happened.
You see, sometimes the highway department burns brush so they don't have to
move them elsewhere. Ash can be spread out, whereas brush has to be moved. As
we traveled down the county road at 6am in the morning, my brother and I
couldn't help but notice the smell of burning oak in the air. Too dark to see
smoke, but as we drove past each pile of burned or burning wood, we begin to
light up with Christmas-like glee! Stack
one, stack two, three and four. All burned. Untouchable and of no use to Jim
Murphy! Aha!
(that's how my dad probably viewed it) this wood from the piled up prison
stacks of brush created by bulldozers; a beautiful and magical thing happened.
You see, sometimes the highway department burns brush so they don't have to
move them elsewhere. Ash can be spread out, whereas brush has to be moved. As
we traveled down the county road at 6am in the morning, my brother and I
couldn't help but notice the smell of burning oak in the air. Too dark to see
smoke, but as we drove past each pile of burned or burning wood, we begin to
light up with Christmas-like glee! Stack
one, stack two, three and four. All burned. Untouchable and of no use to Jim
Murphy! Aha!
As we did our best to cover our smiles, my dad grew
angrier. It begin with a mumble and then it quickly escalated to yelling as we
drove past each smoldering stack of wood. We turned around and headed back
home. My brother and I knew better than to say anything. Tons of sarcastic
thoughts ran through our heads, but now was not the time to begin our standup
comedy careers. Careers that would be cut short by my dad killing us with his
chainsaw. My father insulted everything and everyone in that 20 minute drive
home and it was fantastic! Angry
poetry! I am sure he was thinking that
this was somehow my mom’s fault, as he needed to apply blame to somebody or
something. Michael and I did nothing to earn it, but we "won" that
day. It was a good day. If we were old enough to do it, we would have drank the
finest scotch and smoked the most expensive cigars while celebrating our finest
moment. The Alamo was a big battle for Texas, but the Murphy boys defeating
General "Big" Jim Murphy should be printed in Texas History text
books!
angrier. It begin with a mumble and then it quickly escalated to yelling as we
drove past each smoldering stack of wood. We turned around and headed back
home. My brother and I knew better than to say anything. Tons of sarcastic
thoughts ran through our heads, but now was not the time to begin our standup
comedy careers. Careers that would be cut short by my dad killing us with his
chainsaw. My father insulted everything and everyone in that 20 minute drive
home and it was fantastic! Angry
poetry! I am sure he was thinking that
this was somehow my mom’s fault, as he needed to apply blame to somebody or
something. Michael and I did nothing to earn it, but we "won" that
day. It was a good day. If we were old enough to do it, we would have drank the
finest scotch and smoked the most expensive cigars while celebrating our finest
moment. The Alamo was a big battle for Texas, but the Murphy boys defeating
General "Big" Jim Murphy should be printed in Texas History text
books!
Ok. So back to the tree.
Like when I was a kid, I don't really ask questions
whenever my parents ask me to help them do things. I revert back to childhood
and just "get in the truck". I just grabbed a shovel and a few other
tools and headed over to the tree. Although, I had to wonder, out of all the 10s
of thousands of trees that grow on that property, why my dad needed this one
moved.
whenever my parents ask me to help them do things. I revert back to childhood
and just "get in the truck". I just grabbed a shovel and a few other
tools and headed over to the tree. Although, I had to wonder, out of all the 10s
of thousands of trees that grow on that property, why my dad needed this one
moved.
You see, this tree had a backstory. It's wasn't your
average acorn falls, squirrel buries it, rain falls and it sprouts kind of
story. Although I am sure that this tree started out that way, but it has an
even more profound backstory than that. Years ago, my father and my older
brother Michael were clearing cedar and brush in that area and they discovered
something unique. Unique enough to stop what they were doing and spare the life
of this one tree.
average acorn falls, squirrel buries it, rain falls and it sprouts kind of
story. Although I am sure that this tree started out that way, but it has an
even more profound backstory than that. Years ago, my father and my older
brother Michael were clearing cedar and brush in that area and they discovered
something unique. Unique enough to stop what they were doing and spare the life
of this one tree.
There are tons of different kinds of oak trees in Texas.
I would know as I spent my weekends "liberating" them. If you were to
look around the property, this oak was the only one of its kind. It's color and
the shape of its leaves were unlike any other and the fact that it was
underneath and getting choked out by two very large, older and different oak
trees, meant that this tree had a curious backstory. It had to go through a lot
to get where it was. To grow in a spot that it wasn't supper to be in. To
survive long enough and grow tall enough for my dad and brother to notice it
amongst all the brush and cedar growing around it and to eventually be the one
and only tree pardoned by my semi-pro lumber jacking father. And yes, because
it was associated with my now deceased brother, the tree had additional
meaning.
I would know as I spent my weekends "liberating" them. If you were to
look around the property, this oak was the only one of its kind. It's color and
the shape of its leaves were unlike any other and the fact that it was
underneath and getting choked out by two very large, older and different oak
trees, meant that this tree had a curious backstory. It had to go through a lot
to get where it was. To grow in a spot that it wasn't supper to be in. To
survive long enough and grow tall enough for my dad and brother to notice it
amongst all the brush and cedar growing around it and to eventually be the one
and only tree pardoned by my semi-pro lumber jacking father. And yes, because
it was associated with my now deceased brother, the tree had additional
meaning.
After 3 hours, we moved it.
Sometimes that's life. Sometimes it is about hanging on
long enough to get noticed. You do the almost impossible and #Tryharder, but
the large oaks throwing shade attempt to prevent you from growing. Sometimes
that shade is self-imposed and mentally created. Sometimes you need to cut
through that shade and realize what's on the other side. You flourish on your
own, but occasionally need the help of others to lift you up and help you
grow. Sometimes you need to smile and
celebrate your minor victories in life like a couple of teenage boys that just
wanted to sleep in on a Saturday morning.
long enough to get noticed. You do the almost impossible and #Tryharder, but
the large oaks throwing shade attempt to prevent you from growing. Sometimes
that shade is self-imposed and mentally created. Sometimes you need to cut
through that shade and realize what's on the other side. You flourish on your
own, but occasionally need the help of others to lift you up and help you
grow. Sometimes you need to smile and
celebrate your minor victories in life like a couple of teenage boys that just
wanted to sleep in on a Saturday morning.
I'm sitting in front of a large swimming pool watching my
daughter swim; separated by a 1/2 inch piece of plexiglass. She swims from one
end of the pool to the other as she practices different skills and drills shouted
out by her instructors. This is how I have spent my Saturday mornings for the
past few months. This is also when I have a tendency to write. I would say that
my eyes lock in on my daughter 60% of the time, while the other 40% is spent
looking at the screen and fixing the words that I typed without looking. Yes,
most of my blogs and words that are to be put into this book were written on my
iPhone. Authors in LA and New York sit behind a laptop in coffee shops all day.
I type on my iPhone while watching my 8 year old do the backstroke.
daughter swim; separated by a 1/2 inch piece of plexiglass. She swims from one
end of the pool to the other as she practices different skills and drills shouted
out by her instructors. This is how I have spent my Saturday mornings for the
past few months. This is also when I have a tendency to write. I would say that
my eyes lock in on my daughter 60% of the time, while the other 40% is spent
looking at the screen and fixing the words that I typed without looking. Yes,
most of my blogs and words that are to be put into this book were written on my
iPhone. Authors in LA and New York sit behind a laptop in coffee shops all day.
I type on my iPhone while watching my 8 year old do the backstroke.
Why during swim class? Maybe it's the smell of the
chlorine or that this is one of the few times I am completely alone. I can hear the voices of other parents and
the chatter of other kids waiting for their swim group to be announced, but
overall the room is pretty quiet. There is almost a soothing hum in the room
that I assume comes from all the equipment that runs the system for the pool.
Regardless, I feel inspired and alone here; regardless of the 20 other people that
are seated around me. Same goes for when I write at the airport. I'm surrounded
by the energy of people and noises, but not distracted by conversations. I come
up with lots of ideas in the shower too, but blogging in the shower isn’t really
an option. Being alone is a good thing
for inspiration and clearing your mind of distractions, but sometimes those
distractions keep us from dwelling on certain things. Not necessarily terrible
things, but for many of us, painful things.
chlorine or that this is one of the few times I am completely alone. I can hear the voices of other parents and
the chatter of other kids waiting for their swim group to be announced, but
overall the room is pretty quiet. There is almost a soothing hum in the room
that I assume comes from all the equipment that runs the system for the pool.
Regardless, I feel inspired and alone here; regardless of the 20 other people that
are seated around me. Same goes for when I write at the airport. I'm surrounded
by the energy of people and noises, but not distracted by conversations. I come
up with lots of ideas in the shower too, but blogging in the shower isn’t really
an option. Being alone is a good thing
for inspiration and clearing your mind of distractions, but sometimes those
distractions keep us from dwelling on certain things. Not necessarily terrible
things, but for many of us, painful things.
If you have followed any moments of my life or read my
last book or even some of the blogs, you'll see me occasionally reference my
brother Michael. He passed a while back and although time heals most pain, it
certainly doesn't completely remove it. Nor should it. When he died and all the
feelings and emotions were fresh, I did a lot to stay busy. Busy hands and busy
minds keep us distracted from dwelling on the pain. Eventually you will have to
cope and confront that pain, but allowing yourself some time to process and
digest it in smaller amounts makes it easier to swallow. We buried him on mine
and my wife's 13th anniversary because that's just how it had to work out. I
spent that week building a cocktail arcade system for my wife and the confusion
and frustration of that project kept me from having to deal with everything all
at once. (If you don't swear and drink while building something, you're doing
it wrong). So yes, my anniversary will
always have a double meaning. It is what
it is, but at least I'll be able to remember the date 40 years from now.
last book or even some of the blogs, you'll see me occasionally reference my
brother Michael. He passed a while back and although time heals most pain, it
certainly doesn't completely remove it. Nor should it. When he died and all the
feelings and emotions were fresh, I did a lot to stay busy. Busy hands and busy
minds keep us distracted from dwelling on the pain. Eventually you will have to
cope and confront that pain, but allowing yourself some time to process and
digest it in smaller amounts makes it easier to swallow. We buried him on mine
and my wife's 13th anniversary because that's just how it had to work out. I
spent that week building a cocktail arcade system for my wife and the confusion
and frustration of that project kept me from having to deal with everything all
at once. (If you don't swear and drink while building something, you're doing
it wrong). So yes, my anniversary will
always have a double meaning. It is what
it is, but at least I'll be able to remember the date 40 years from now.
When Michael had quiet and alone time, he struggled. Not
always, but enough to mention. Sometimes he would drink the time away. Other
times he would call everyone in his phone, sometimes more than once in a day,
just to keep from doing destructive things or activities that would not be
considered the most positive. He was not
always good with what many of us call our "me" time. I've said it
before, but he was a better friend to others than they were to him or he was to
himself.
always, but enough to mention. Sometimes he would drink the time away. Other
times he would call everyone in his phone, sometimes more than once in a day,
just to keep from doing destructive things or activities that would not be
considered the most positive. He was not
always good with what many of us call our "me" time. I've said it
before, but he was a better friend to others than they were to him or he was to
himself.
How are you spending your "me" time? Are you using these moments to heal your
mind, create or better yourself? I'm not
talking about your down time where you binge watch bad TV shows on Netflix or
watch 6 hours of the cooking channel as you lay on the couch, too lazy to
change the channel or get up to pee. I'm talking about those minutes in the day
where you have a moment to yourself to reflect on life and the contributions
you are making to the world. You know, those “who am I and why am I here” kind
of moments. Could be 5 minutes. Could be in the 30 minute commute. The quiet
time where you are stuck with yourself and your thoughts. For some, these moments can be scary. They can force you to face things you don’t
want to process.
mind, create or better yourself? I'm not
talking about your down time where you binge watch bad TV shows on Netflix or
watch 6 hours of the cooking channel as you lay on the couch, too lazy to
change the channel or get up to pee. I'm talking about those minutes in the day
where you have a moment to yourself to reflect on life and the contributions
you are making to the world. You know, those “who am I and why am I here” kind
of moments. Could be 5 minutes. Could be in the 30 minute commute. The quiet
time where you are stuck with yourself and your thoughts. For some, these moments can be scary. They can force you to face things you don’t
want to process.
I'll be more specific. When I am given this time, I often
think about my brother Michael. I think about our conversations. The stories.
The jokes and the unique way he and I communicated. A form of communication
that died when he died. I don't dwell on the negatives because nothing healthy
comes of it. I think about the good things. I focus on the positive things I
can contribute to my life and the world around me. I think about how I can pick up on the good
things he did and carry them with me. I
think about how I can do right by the people he loved and cared about-no matter
how challenging that may be. I think
about the need for me to be better. Yes,
better.
think about my brother Michael. I think about our conversations. The stories.
The jokes and the unique way he and I communicated. A form of communication
that died when he died. I don't dwell on the negatives because nothing healthy
comes of it. I think about the good things. I focus on the positive things I
can contribute to my life and the world around me. I think about how I can pick up on the good
things he did and carry them with me. I
think about how I can do right by the people he loved and cared about-no matter
how challenging that may be. I think
about the need for me to be better. Yes,
better.
You see, every day, I am given a choice. I spend over an
hour of my day in the car, driving back and forth to work and I make the best
of it. This time allows a true
#Tryharder moment. Instead of allowing
the moments of my life, that I have no control over, consume me and possibly
scar or warp my thoughts; I choose to focus on healthy and controllable things. I can control being better. I'm not being
glib and I am not prime for a midlife crisis fueled by not living in reality.
Each day I am given a choice and I choose to contribute and be positive. I
choose to make the best of what I have in the present and the best with the
remaining memories I have of my childhood. I choose to take better inventory of
my day and make sure that I am applying energy towards the people and things I
can influence in my life. I choose to #Tryharder and hopefully you do as well.
Make the best use of your time on this earth, do right by those in your life
and those you have lost along the way. Be better. Don't let your reflection
time sour your outlook on life or allow you to create crutches or self-imposed
mental and physical roadblocks.
hour of my day in the car, driving back and forth to work and I make the best
of it. This time allows a true
#Tryharder moment. Instead of allowing
the moments of my life, that I have no control over, consume me and possibly
scar or warp my thoughts; I choose to focus on healthy and controllable things. I can control being better. I'm not being
glib and I am not prime for a midlife crisis fueled by not living in reality.
Each day I am given a choice and I choose to contribute and be positive. I
choose to make the best of what I have in the present and the best with the
remaining memories I have of my childhood. I choose to take better inventory of
my day and make sure that I am applying energy towards the people and things I
can influence in my life. I choose to #Tryharder and hopefully you do as well.
Make the best use of your time on this earth, do right by those in your life
and those you have lost along the way. Be better. Don't let your reflection
time sour your outlook on life or allow you to create crutches or self-imposed
mental and physical roadblocks.
They say it takes more muscles to frown than it does to
smile. Choose to smile.
smile. Choose to smile.
I always preach the importance of being memorable.
I spend a good bit of time calculating ways of making
sure that I "win" most of my first impressions. I assure you this is
not something driven by ego or competition. By "winning", I want to
make sure I take away knowledge from the conversation and I want to ensure that
they remember me or things about me. Good things. First impressions are important in business
and in the general establishing of healthy relationships. Picking up takeaways
in conversations not only help your relationship with that person, but also
helps in future conversations with similar subject matter. (I've never ran a
marathon, but I can talk about it because I know someone that has).
A few weeks ago I was at a radio industry event. I got to
reconnect with a few people that I had not seen in a while and I also got the
opportunity to meet others that I have never met. I don't traditionally hand
out business cards. I always forget to load my wallet with them, but in all
honesty, I don't really like the slightly pretentious act of the exchange. We
are in a world of advanced technology and it's easier to pull someone up on
social media than it is to remember to hang onto a piece of thick paper. I take
cards more than I pass them out and within 24 hours, that person will almost
always get an email from me. Unlike dating and waiting the mandatory 2 days
before calling a girl, I immediately connect with the other person. In business
and networking, (they go hand in hand) immediacy is important.
reconnect with a few people that I had not seen in a while and I also got the
opportunity to meet others that I have never met. I don't traditionally hand
out business cards. I always forget to load my wallet with them, but in all
honesty, I don't really like the slightly pretentious act of the exchange. We
are in a world of advanced technology and it's easier to pull someone up on
social media than it is to remember to hang onto a piece of thick paper. I take
cards more than I pass them out and within 24 hours, that person will almost
always get an email from me. Unlike dating and waiting the mandatory 2 days
before calling a girl, I immediately connect with the other person. In business
and networking, (they go hand in hand) immediacy is important.
At this event, I ran into a woman that I had only met
once and it was about 15 years ago. We were introduced by a mutual friend and
she and I then sparked up a great conversation with subjects changing every 3
minutes. (I was drinking gin and tonic, so that probably assisted in the flow
of random topics). She then asked me "do you remember the first time we
met"? This is a memory skill I
pride myself on, but honestly didn't recall the moment. I knew who she was and
where she had worked. The radio and record industry is a small world and our
business is very relationship based.
once and it was about 15 years ago. We were introduced by a mutual friend and
she and I then sparked up a great conversation with subjects changing every 3
minutes. (I was drinking gin and tonic, so that probably assisted in the flow
of random topics). She then asked me "do you remember the first time we
met"? This is a memory skill I
pride myself on, but honestly didn't recall the moment. I knew who she was and
where she had worked. The radio and record industry is a small world and our
business is very relationship based.
She said "you (meaning me) almost got us thrown out
of an artist showcase because you were making my laugh so damn hard". She
also followed with "you used to be fat".
of an artist showcase because you were making my laugh so damn hard". She
also followed with "you used to be fat".
So, the two takeaways I left her with were that I was
dangerously funny and fat. Got it. According to our first meeting and the
impression that was left, for the past 15 years, I was Chris Farley. Not how I
planned on leaving my mark in this world.
dangerously funny and fat. Got it. According to our first meeting and the
impression that was left, for the past 15 years, I was Chris Farley. Not how I
planned on leaving my mark in this world.
I'm not saying you should consume yourself with the
concern of what others think. Not at all. Honestly, it's not a terrible thing
to be a fat and funny guy, but are those the words you want chiseled on your
headstone when they lower your huge body, that was placed Ina piano case, into
the ground. Yeah, probably not. "He never met a joke or sandwich that he
didn't love".
concern of what others think. Not at all. Honestly, it's not a terrible thing
to be a fat and funny guy, but are those the words you want chiseled on your
headstone when they lower your huge body, that was placed Ina piano case, into
the ground. Yeah, probably not. "He never met a joke or sandwich that he
didn't love".
Having her remember me that way was much better than not
having her remember me at all. Nothing is more deflating to the sails than to
have someone not recall one single thing about you. Going to your 20 year
reunion and not having anyone remember being is class with you would suck. (I
mean you drove all that way). Being the date she doesn't remember isn't a
healthy for your mojo.
having her remember me at all. Nothing is more deflating to the sails than to
have someone not recall one single thing about you. Going to your 20 year
reunion and not having anyone remember being is class with you would suck. (I
mean you drove all that way). Being the date she doesn't remember isn't a
healthy for your mojo.
Again, there is no
need to obsess about this, but leaving the right impression is important.
Taking up space in someone else's brain, for the right reason, may not be your
biggest goal in life. Yet, if you're going to go through all these years on
planet earth, you might as well be memorable. Memorable for all the right
reasons.
need to obsess about this, but leaving the right impression is important.
Taking up space in someone else's brain, for the right reason, may not be your
biggest goal in life. Yet, if you're going to go through all these years on
planet earth, you might as well be memorable. Memorable for all the right
reasons.
Too often we
believe what we read. We believe what the people on TV tell us to believe.
Sometimes we dismiss our doctor's advice and buy into something we read on
someone else's Facebook wall. I "learned" how to be a better shot
with a rifle because of something I read in a Jack Reacher book. We are more
influenced today than ever before.
believe what we read. We believe what the people on TV tell us to believe.
Sometimes we dismiss our doctor's advice and buy into something we read on
someone else's Facebook wall. I "learned" how to be a better shot
with a rifle because of something I read in a Jack Reacher book. We are more
influenced today than ever before.
We are all a
bunch of sheep. We believe what sounds the most rational to us and what, most
likely, asks us to do the least amount of work.
We take pills because it's easier than going to the gym or facing the
fact that we eat too damn much. If it sounds good in our head-then it must be
the law and most likely the best and only way...till the next best and only way
idea comes along.
bunch of sheep. We believe what sounds the most rational to us and what, most
likely, asks us to do the least amount of work.
We take pills because it's easier than going to the gym or facing the
fact that we eat too damn much. If it sounds good in our head-then it must be
the law and most likely the best and only way...till the next best and only way
idea comes along.
It goes way
beyond that.
beyond that.
How many
times have you listened in on a conversation or been a part of a conversation
where we embrace someone's statements as the rule. They don't have to be an
expert on a subject, just as long as the information given sounded "right"
to us. "You don't need to change the oil in your car! Oil lasts forever, but the Oil Company and
Jiffy Lube want you to believe this so they can take your money". This sounds right to you because you don't
want to spend money and there is nothing "Jiffy" about spending an
hour (or more) of your Saturday getting your oil changed. Maybe YOU don't
believe this, but there's a sucker born every minute.
times have you listened in on a conversation or been a part of a conversation
where we embrace someone's statements as the rule. They don't have to be an
expert on a subject, just as long as the information given sounded "right"
to us. "You don't need to change the oil in your car! Oil lasts forever, but the Oil Company and
Jiffy Lube want you to believe this so they can take your money". This sounds right to you because you don't
want to spend money and there is nothing "Jiffy" about spending an
hour (or more) of your Saturday getting your oil changed. Maybe YOU don't
believe this, but there's a sucker born every minute.
Evaluate
your day and routine. How many things do you do or believe because of something
you heard. How many things do you do because your family did it that way and
because of that, it must be the best and only way to do it? When I got married,
I was quickly informed of how many things I did "wrong" (insert
sarcasm here). Years of doing the
laundry or doing the dishes, without screwing them up, only to find that I was
doing it all "wrong". With the use of the two magic words of "I
do", my routine and traditions were questioned and scrutinized. Yes, I'm
sure my wife sees it that way too.
your day and routine. How many things do you do or believe because of something
you heard. How many things do you do because your family did it that way and
because of that, it must be the best and only way to do it? When I got married,
I was quickly informed of how many things I did "wrong" (insert
sarcasm here). Years of doing the
laundry or doing the dishes, without screwing them up, only to find that I was
doing it all "wrong". With the use of the two magic words of "I
do", my routine and traditions were questioned and scrutinized. Yes, I'm
sure my wife sees it that way too.
What
prompted this blog?
prompted this blog?
While I was
checking out at the grocery store the other day, I got into a brief
conversation with the check out girl and the guy behind me in the 15 items or
less line. The topic? How long do you
need to hold the door for the person entering a building behind you? She said
"well, I saw a video on the internet that said it's a rule that you don't
need to hold the door for someone that is 10 feet or more behind you". I
laughed, but didn't have the heart to tell her that the person behind that viral
video, and the main "actor", was me. I guess I was convincing in my
role because this girl just communicated that same message to two complete
strangers.
checking out at the grocery store the other day, I got into a brief
conversation with the check out girl and the guy behind me in the 15 items or
less line. The topic? How long do you
need to hold the door for the person entering a building behind you? She said
"well, I saw a video on the internet that said it's a rule that you don't
need to hold the door for someone that is 10 feet or more behind you". I
laughed, but didn't have the heart to tell her that the person behind that viral
video, and the main "actor", was me. I guess I was convincing in my
role because this girl just communicated that same message to two complete
strangers.
If I can
change the routine of the grocery store checkout girl, Imagine what can be
accomplish with posting pictures of bad parking jobs and the caption of
#Tryharder. Imagine what you can accomplish by sharing your ideas, traditions
and perspective with others. Just make sure you use your powers for good and
not evil. Make sure your information is
real and based on some facts. If possible, share advice and tips that are meant
to better the world around you; because there are already enough people in this
world selling snake oil.
change the routine of the grocery store checkout girl, Imagine what can be
accomplish with posting pictures of bad parking jobs and the caption of
#Tryharder. Imagine what you can accomplish by sharing your ideas, traditions
and perspective with others. Just make sure you use your powers for good and
not evil. Make sure your information is
real and based on some facts. If possible, share advice and tips that are meant
to better the world around you; because there are already enough people in this
world selling snake oil.
#Tryharder
Kanye West is crazy.
So there I was, sitting in a room in LA, listening to all
the major and indie record companies pitch their new artist projects for the
current year. Heads of companies came out,
played parts of songs and introduced sizzle reel after sizzle real in hopes
that the room would fall in love with a project and look for me, and others
like me. to support that artist on the radio.
Lives are often changed in meetings like this and fans are created. An artist can go from Starbucks Barista to
chart topping pop star in just one catchy song hook. It’s an amazing event and it’s a blessing to
be able to experience it.
the major and indie record companies pitch their new artist projects for the
current year. Heads of companies came out,
played parts of songs and introduced sizzle reel after sizzle real in hopes
that the room would fall in love with a project and look for me, and others
like me. to support that artist on the radio.
Lives are often changed in meetings like this and fans are created. An artist can go from Starbucks Barista to
chart topping pop star in just one catchy song hook. It’s an amazing event and it’s a blessing to
be able to experience it.
Then it happens. Kanye West walks in wearing skinny
jeans, boots, a heavy winter jacket and carrying a laptop. Yes, that Kanye West. The “George Bush hates black people” Kanye West. In case you were wondering, yes Kanye West is
crazy. There was a rumor he was given 10
minutes to talk. Kanye West went for
almost an hour and what an amazing hour it was.
jeans, boots, a heavy winter jacket and carrying a laptop. Yes, that Kanye West. The “George Bush hates black people” Kanye West. In case you were wondering, yes Kanye West is
crazy. There was a rumor he was given 10
minutes to talk. Kanye West went for
almost an hour and what an amazing hour it was.
Kanye is rich, famous, controversial and pretty much a
household name. Even old people know who
he is! Maybe from his music? Maybe from his polarizing statements on
politics and pop culture? Or like my
father who knows him as the guy married to the girl with the big ass that did
that porno movie. Kanye West, care for
him or not, is an interesting person and if Kanye is going to speak for an
hour, I’m going to listen to every crazy thing he has to say!
household name. Even old people know who
he is! Maybe from his music? Maybe from his polarizing statements on
politics and pop culture? Or like my
father who knows him as the guy married to the girl with the big ass that did
that porno movie. Kanye West, care for
him or not, is an interesting person and if Kanye is going to speak for an
hour, I’m going to listen to every crazy thing he has to say!
He began by setting down the microphone he was
handed. He wanted to address the room in
a very informal manner and felt that talking into a microphone, something he
does for a living and people pay tons of money to see him do, wasn’t the proper
way to address the audience. Again,
Kanye West is crazy. He started with his
background and how he become who he is today.
As he explained, he weaved in and out of different stories, jumping
timelines while sometimes staying on point and often taking a trip to left
field in an effort to share something random, but to him, very
interesting. If anyone else delivered
this message, you would look for security to grab them or at least a huge Gong
Show hook to pull them backstage, but you have to remember this is Kanye West
and before he opened his mouth or entered the room, you knew he was crazy. Have a seat security and grab some popcorn.
handed. He wanted to address the room in
a very informal manner and felt that talking into a microphone, something he
does for a living and people pay tons of money to see him do, wasn’t the proper
way to address the audience. Again,
Kanye West is crazy. He started with his
background and how he become who he is today.
As he explained, he weaved in and out of different stories, jumping
timelines while sometimes staying on point and often taking a trip to left
field in an effort to share something random, but to him, very
interesting. If anyone else delivered
this message, you would look for security to grab them or at least a huge Gong
Show hook to pull them backstage, but you have to remember this is Kanye West
and before he opened his mouth or entered the room, you knew he was crazy. Have a seat security and grab some popcorn.
Kanye is also a genius and as we all know, most geniuses
are also crazy. The two basically go
hand in hand and we all pretty much accept it.
When you create for a living, it’s understandable. The point he was making and the basis of his
speech was that he wanted us to understand that he is an innovator. He has a responsibility to his fans and to
his industry to innovate and lead change.
To start a movement. With one
song, Kanye West feels he can alter the musical landscape and force producers
and artists to change their sound to match his.
Like every professional athlete that thinks they can make a game
changing play, Kanye West believes he can change the entire sound of today’s
music. Why shouldn’t he feel that way?
are also crazy. The two basically go
hand in hand and we all pretty much accept it.
When you create for a living, it’s understandable. The point he was making and the basis of his
speech was that he wanted us to understand that he is an innovator. He has a responsibility to his fans and to
his industry to innovate and lead change.
To start a movement. With one
song, Kanye West feels he can alter the musical landscape and force producers
and artists to change their sound to match his.
Like every professional athlete that thinks they can make a game
changing play, Kanye West believes he can change the entire sound of today’s
music. Why shouldn’t he feel that way?
At about the halfway point Kanye compared himself to
Steve Jobs. That he and Steve are
innovators and responsible for shouldering the weight of the industry. We all know you don't give yourself a
nickname and you should wait for someone else to compare you to someone before
you attempt to make that comparison yourself. It's like me calling myself a “young
Brad Pitt”. We look nothing alike, but why the hell not? Well, Kanye can say whatever he wants and
even though it's an odd comparison, at the end of the day, Kanye is right. Does saying that make me crazy or did he
rightfully convert me into a believer?
Regardless of his approach, Kanye believes in Kanye and you need that in
order to be successful. In order to get
fans and followers, you have to start with being a fan of yourself. With taking ownership of leading a cause or
banging the drum of change, there is a healthy bit of ego and self-love
involved. Kanye certainly has that. Because Kanye is a crazy genius.
Steve Jobs. That he and Steve are
innovators and responsible for shouldering the weight of the industry. We all know you don't give yourself a
nickname and you should wait for someone else to compare you to someone before
you attempt to make that comparison yourself. It's like me calling myself a “young
Brad Pitt”. We look nothing alike, but why the hell not? Well, Kanye can say whatever he wants and
even though it's an odd comparison, at the end of the day, Kanye is right. Does saying that make me crazy or did he
rightfully convert me into a believer?
Regardless of his approach, Kanye believes in Kanye and you need that in
order to be successful. In order to get
fans and followers, you have to start with being a fan of yourself. With taking ownership of leading a cause or
banging the drum of change, there is a healthy bit of ego and self-love
involved. Kanye certainly has that. Because Kanye is a crazy genius.
I never said crazy was bad. I just said that Kanye West is crazy. In order to be truly invested in an idea, art
or movement, you need to be at least a little crazy. You need to be committed. You need to believe and not be pulled away
from that conviction. Crazy people are
the most followed and believed in people.
Most leaders have some level of crazy.
Cult leaders are crazy, but masses follow them. Presidential candidates
may not be crazy, but they are so committed to their platform (and they need to
be in order to be taken seriously) that it comes across as crazy to anyone that
doesn’t agree with their stance.
Musicians are crazy and they have tons of fans. In order for me or anyone to be taken
seriously, we need to risk being considered crazy.
or movement, you need to be at least a little crazy. You need to be committed. You need to believe and not be pulled away
from that conviction. Crazy people are
the most followed and believed in people.
Most leaders have some level of crazy.
Cult leaders are crazy, but masses follow them. Presidential candidates
may not be crazy, but they are so committed to their platform (and they need to
be in order to be taken seriously) that it comes across as crazy to anyone that
doesn’t agree with their stance.
Musicians are crazy and they have tons of fans. In order for me or anyone to be taken
seriously, we need to risk being considered crazy.
When it comes to the #Tryharder movement and how it was
conceived, people thought I was crazy or at least a little obsessed, with
pictures of failed parking attempts.
Starting anything with the intention of it becoming a movement or
suggestion starts with a bunch of conviction and hope that others feel the same
as you do about something. The needs
that fuel the planting of seeds of consideration are passion and belief. There
is a hope that others share my same ideas and feelings. There is also a hope that they don’t discount
me because they don’t feel the same way or if they are totally apathetic to the
whole idea. You can’t and won’t get belief or buy-in from others if you don’t
believe it yourself.
conceived, people thought I was crazy or at least a little obsessed, with
pictures of failed parking attempts.
Starting anything with the intention of it becoming a movement or
suggestion starts with a bunch of conviction and hope that others feel the same
as you do about something. The needs
that fuel the planting of seeds of consideration are passion and belief. There
is a hope that others share my same ideas and feelings. There is also a hope that they don’t discount
me because they don’t feel the same way or if they are totally apathetic to the
whole idea. You can’t and won’t get belief or buy-in from others if you don’t
believe it yourself.
I believe that there is a need for better parking
attempts, but as you’ve read, my belief and message is deeper than backing up
and trying it again. #Tryharder is a
cause and it is important I treat it as such.
The message is clear and encouraging. Yes, I believe that I can change
the world, one bad parking job at a time.
attempts, but as you’ve read, my belief and message is deeper than backing up
and trying it again. #Tryharder is a
cause and it is important I treat it as such.
The message is clear and encouraging. Yes, I believe that I can change
the world, one bad parking job at a time.
Kanye is crazy, amazing and convicted. He believes that
he is responsible for the sound today's music.
Right or wrong, he feels that he carries that responsibility and
sometimes burden on his shoulders. So if
you are unsuccessful in getting others to follow and believe you, you might
have to get crazier. You are going to have to show your potential audience,
followers and future fans just how committed you are to your cause. Nothing is
truly accomplished in life by being wishy-washy in your convictions. Nobody
follows anyone that "kind of wants to do some stuff". People want to
be moved. They want to be motivated.
They want to be inspired. They want some crazy validation. If they are
going to be crazy enough to follow the cause then they at least need someone to
show them the appropriate level of crazy it's going to take. Again, crazy isn't
a bad thing. It just means you want it more than others.
he is responsible for the sound today's music.
Right or wrong, he feels that he carries that responsibility and
sometimes burden on his shoulders. So if
you are unsuccessful in getting others to follow and believe you, you might
have to get crazier. You are going to have to show your potential audience,
followers and future fans just how committed you are to your cause. Nothing is
truly accomplished in life by being wishy-washy in your convictions. Nobody
follows anyone that "kind of wants to do some stuff". People want to
be moved. They want to be motivated.
They want to be inspired. They want some crazy validation. If they are
going to be crazy enough to follow the cause then they at least need someone to
show them the appropriate level of crazy it's going to take. Again, crazy isn't
a bad thing. It just means you want it more than others.
Go be crazy.
After you watch a football game the sidelines reporter
almost always grabs a player that made a noteworthy play during the game, for
some sort of postgame interview. When
it’s a Quarterback, you usually get the routine answers, accompanied with a big
“aww shucks” smile, talking about how great the team played and how he,
personally, needs to work on a few things and his team helped him out and blah
blah blah. It’s pretty much the same
formula each time and you aren’t going to get a great or memorable quote from
the leader of the team.
almost always grabs a player that made a noteworthy play during the game, for
some sort of postgame interview. When
it’s a Quarterback, you usually get the routine answers, accompanied with a big
“aww shucks” smile, talking about how great the team played and how he,
personally, needs to work on a few things and his team helped him out and blah
blah blah. It’s pretty much the same
formula each time and you aren’t going to get a great or memorable quote from
the leader of the team.
When you get a player that doesn’t usually get the camera
time; that’s a whole different interview!
I love it when the defensive players get an opportunity to say something
after the game. Why? Because they have a
tendency to break out some emotional speech, fueled with random elements and
occasionally a cameo from another player who may or may not realize (or care)
that their teammate has a microphone in front of them. It’s comical, but it’s more “real” than
anything you are going to get from a coach or Quarterback.
time; that’s a whole different interview!
I love it when the defensive players get an opportunity to say something
after the game. Why? Because they have a
tendency to break out some emotional speech, fueled with random elements and
occasionally a cameo from another player who may or may not realize (or care)
that their teammate has a microphone in front of them. It’s comical, but it’s more “real” than
anything you are going to get from a coach or Quarterback.
Yet, these players have their crutches too. Almost always, they find a way to work this
phrase into the spirited speech…”Everyone doubted us”. Everyone doubted the team. Everyone doubted the defense. Everyone doubted that player. Sure, you have the best record in the league,
but everyone doubted you. You made it to
the Super Bowl, but everyone doubted you.
You are a millionaire and have started every game you have ever played
in since you were 6 years old, but everyone doubted you.
Right…
phrase into the spirited speech…”Everyone doubted us”. Everyone doubted the team. Everyone doubted the defense. Everyone doubted that player. Sure, you have the best record in the league,
but everyone doubted you. You made it to
the Super Bowl, but everyone doubted you.
You are a millionaire and have started every game you have ever played
in since you were 6 years old, but everyone doubted you.
Right…
Sometimes, in an effort to #Tryharder or stay motivated, you
have to create something to keep you going.
You have to invent a fake Goliath to throw stones at. A group of people that doubt you in order to
keep fighting, or a chip on your shoulder in an effort to stay motivated and
evoke motivation from others. When you
don’t have anything real or concrete holding you back, you have to feed on the
energy of something. Even if that
catalyst isn’t even real.
have to create something to keep you going.
You have to invent a fake Goliath to throw stones at. A group of people that doubt you in order to
keep fighting, or a chip on your shoulder in an effort to stay motivated and
evoke motivation from others. When you
don’t have anything real or concrete holding you back, you have to feed on the
energy of something. Even if that
catalyst isn’t even real.
Positive motivation is great, but it doesn’t hold a candle
to what results negative motivation can often produce. It’s one thing to live the best life you can
and do it motivated by a pure drive to be great, but to be able to use a chip
or crutch to keep your motor going is a far stronger force of mental
energy. To beat the team that once beat
you. To prove others wrong. To shove your accomplishment into someone
else’s face. I’m not saying it’s
healthiest, but the results come faster and can help push you to dig deeper if
they have an element of adversity or competition.
to what results negative motivation can often produce. It’s one thing to live the best life you can
and do it motivated by a pure drive to be great, but to be able to use a chip
or crutch to keep your motor going is a far stronger force of mental
energy. To beat the team that once beat
you. To prove others wrong. To shove your accomplishment into someone
else’s face. I’m not saying it’s
healthiest, but the results come faster and can help push you to dig deeper if
they have an element of adversity or competition.
Problem is that this adversity is mostly, if not all,
self-created. The creation of the fake “haters” comes from a history of failure
and a desire to blame that failure on something or someone else. Imagination
has more uses than Willie Wonka sang about, doesn’t it?
self-created. The creation of the fake “haters” comes from a history of failure
and a desire to blame that failure on something or someone else. Imagination
has more uses than Willie Wonka sang about, doesn’t it?
Here’s the thing.
It’s not a bunch of people doubting you.
It’s you doubting you. Strip it
down and look at your motivator. What is
driving you to #Tryharder? Is it really
animosity or is it your insecurities? Is
it really a group of people doubting you or is it self-doubt? Do you find yourself creating false scenarios
or backstories that never happened? OK,
what if they did happen? Do you still
think that high school teacher that was a dick to you in 10th grade
is still thinking about you and hoping that all the things he said about you
would come true? Highly unlikely right? If that’s the case, then that dude has some
serious issues and probably lives in a van, down by the river.
It’s not a bunch of people doubting you.
It’s you doubting you. Strip it
down and look at your motivator. What is
driving you to #Tryharder? Is it really
animosity or is it your insecurities? Is
it really a group of people doubting you or is it self-doubt? Do you find yourself creating false scenarios
or backstories that never happened? OK,
what if they did happen? Do you still
think that high school teacher that was a dick to you in 10th grade
is still thinking about you and hoping that all the things he said about you
would come true? Highly unlikely right? If that’s the case, then that dude has some
serious issues and probably lives in a van, down by the river.
In the end, find what works for you, but make sure to
acknowledge what is real and what is a made up backstory from some fake chapter
of your life. It’s good to have a
healthy amount of “chip” on your shoulder and a competitive drive to overcome
hurdles, but don’t be delusional. Your
ego can trick you into thinking that everyone is talking about you. After you
come to terms with that, you’ll understand that deep down, you are the one with
the foot in your ass. You are the one
motivating and you are the one doubting.
You are the one accountable for your goals and accomplishments and you
are the one that needs to believe in you.
acknowledge what is real and what is a made up backstory from some fake chapter
of your life. It’s good to have a
healthy amount of “chip” on your shoulder and a competitive drive to overcome
hurdles, but don’t be delusional. Your
ego can trick you into thinking that everyone is talking about you. After you
come to terms with that, you’ll understand that deep down, you are the one with
the foot in your ass. You are the one
motivating and you are the one doubting.
You are the one accountable for your goals and accomplishments and you
are the one that needs to believe in you.
Life is too short to...
Not drink, smoke or eat the
"good stuff". Smoking-meaning the good cigars. Anything else is
classless.
"good stuff". Smoking-meaning the good cigars. Anything else is
classless.
Life is too short to...
Never actually cash in the rainy day fund. I don't know anybody that didn't cry
during the first 15 minutes of the Disney/Pixar movie UP. Learn from Mr. Fredricksen.
Life is too short to...
Not make goals, but don't make those goals your master. Set them. Own them. Just
know that they are marks in life and not something that should blind you from
other wonderful things.
Life is too short to...
To be petty. Yet, it's important that you age better than your classmates or exes.
You can't let them win.
Life is too short to...
Not learn. Make it part of your focus to learn something new every day. Not all of
it has to be huge, like learning a new language. Make a new dish, drink or
actually take the time to read all the crap your phone does. Spend some more
time with that thing you hate doing at work. Read something.
Life is too short to...
Assume the worst. You might as well remain as optimistic as possible in your endeavors and
relationships. Not everyone can be you, so take pride in that.
Life is too short to...
Convince yourself you are good at things you are not good at. Boosting your confidence
is great, but cut ties with lying to yourself. Keep singing because you
enjoy it. I assure you, you sound nothing like Adel.
Life is too short to...
Not love stupid things. You should have a list of things
to love that you shouldn't care if others love them as well. I only drink
unsweet tea. I love Disney.
Life is too short to...
Not walk fast. Yes, it's wise to stop and smell the roses,
but I have always felt that you can smell more roses if you walk faster.
Life is too short to...
Not hug. It's easy. Deep down inside all of us want one. A 3 count is good. Unless it's from
the creepy guy in accounting, then hugs are bad.
Life is too short to...
Not allow yourself to be influenced by the world. Take
it in. Just make sure your influences are healthy and not counterproductive in your
efforts to be "you".
Life is too short to...
Hang onto baggage that comes with no positive lesson. Baggage helps teach us things, but
once it becomes a crutch, it has to go. Know when to let go.
Life is too short to...
Keep staring at your phone looking for something more
interesting to do. I assure you, there is not an app out there that is
more interesting than life. Go force yourself to live life and crush some real
candy.
Life is too short to...
Engage in arguments with idiots. I've never felt the
need to win an argument with an idiot. Idiots are idiots. You will never teach
them anything, so you might as well cut your loses early in the conversation.
Resist the urge to comment on their posts because no good will ever come of it.
Life is too short to...
Keep score in your relationships. Nothing in life is
ever 50/50, so suck it up and come to terms with that. Healthy relationships
are not based on scores or percentages. You have enough competition in your
day, keep it out of your relationship.
Life is too short to...
Leave things in bubble wrap. What good is it to have
something that nobody has and you yourself have never touched, read, listened
to or played with? Nothing is what it is perceived to be worth anymore.
Just look at all the junk you were one day going to make millions off of
on eBay and didn't. When I was a kid, I had planned to retire on my comic book and baseball card collection...yeah...
Life is too short to...
Be mad at stupid shit. Sometimes you hold on to anger so
long that you forget why it pissed you off in the first place. You have to let
it go or it becomes poison.
Life is too short to...
Not buy her a drink. To not dance with the stranger that
is asking. To not smile back at the random person that smiled at you. In the
end, what does it really hurt? There are no good stories about the time
you almost danced or almost had a drink with someone.
Life is too short to...
Not be cordial or tolerant of people. Sure,
voice your opinion and argue when you need to, but don't continue to be a dick
or hold a grudge against them. Trust me, you think more about them than they do
of you.
Life is too short to...
not tell people you love them. I stopped taking myself
serious years ago and have no problem telling people I care about them. Trust
me, nobody ever lays on their death bed saying "shit, I think I loved too
much". That regret never happens. Unless you are a prostitute.
Life is too short to...
not #Tryharder. You've gone this far, you might as well
finish what you started.
It shouldn't
have to be said, but we all need to take some time to remind ourselves to not
be an asshole.
have to be said, but we all need to take some time to remind ourselves to not
be an asshole.
It's easy to
be an asshole. Say what's on your mind all the time, no filters, do whatever
you want and not care about the thoughts or feelings of others. Being an
asshole is liberating and there are times in life where it should be the
perfect option for what's on deck. Yet, some of us are too comfortable living
in this world and we find ourselves punching the asshole card way too often.
be an asshole. Say what's on your mind all the time, no filters, do whatever
you want and not care about the thoughts or feelings of others. Being an
asshole is liberating and there are times in life where it should be the
perfect option for what's on deck. Yet, some of us are too comfortable living
in this world and we find ourselves punching the asshole card way too often.
Today I am
picking up my niece for a week of fun in Texas. I fly up to Chicago, pick her
up and fly back with her to Texas all in one day. This morning I only got two
hours sleep prior to having to be at the airport at 5:30am. For some reason my
brain wouldn't switch off and I couldn't fall asleep. We've all been there. The
famous last words of "I'll get some sleep on the plane" seemed to
bring me some false comfort.
picking up my niece for a week of fun in Texas. I fly up to Chicago, pick her
up and fly back with her to Texas all in one day. This morning I only got two
hours sleep prior to having to be at the airport at 5:30am. For some reason my
brain wouldn't switch off and I couldn't fall asleep. We've all been there. The
famous last words of "I'll get some sleep on the plane" seemed to
bring me some false comfort.
As I was
waiting for my section to get called up; a man dragging all of his stuff behind
him on his roller bag yelled "watch your toes" while zooming passed
me. I'd been sitting there for 10 min. I got to the airport early, like a smart
traveler, but this guy didn't say "excuse me" or "I'm
sorry", but instead shouted "watch your toes". Hearing this,
after only two hours sleep, made me think that this guy doesn't know how big of
an asshole he is. Put it on me to watch
out for him? I need to watch MY
toes? What about YOUR bag? Or YOUR
choice of words? Glad I got to the airport
when I was supposed to so my toes could meet up with the wheels on your roller
bag!
waiting for my section to get called up; a man dragging all of his stuff behind
him on his roller bag yelled "watch your toes" while zooming passed
me. I'd been sitting there for 10 min. I got to the airport early, like a smart
traveler, but this guy didn't say "excuse me" or "I'm
sorry", but instead shouted "watch your toes". Hearing this,
after only two hours sleep, made me think that this guy doesn't know how big of
an asshole he is. Put it on me to watch
out for him? I need to watch MY
toes? What about YOUR bag? Or YOUR
choice of words? Glad I got to the airport
when I was supposed to so my toes could meet up with the wheels on your roller
bag!
Once we
boarded, I realized I was seated across the aisle from this guy. Adding to his
already obvious asshole behavior, he proceeded to remove his shoes as he sat
down! Want more? Ok, it's now 6:30am and as everyone sat down,
fluffed their pillows and got ready to do what I was about to do-sleep. What
did this asshole do? Something that no
other person wanted to do on this plane-he opened the shade to let the sunlight
in. Oblivious to the world around him, a
plane full of sleepy passengers, 6:30am and this guy wants to absorb some
vitamin D.
boarded, I realized I was seated across the aisle from this guy. Adding to his
already obvious asshole behavior, he proceeded to remove his shoes as he sat
down! Want more? Ok, it's now 6:30am and as everyone sat down,
fluffed their pillows and got ready to do what I was about to do-sleep. What
did this asshole do? Something that no
other person wanted to do on this plane-he opened the shade to let the sunlight
in. Oblivious to the world around him, a
plane full of sleepy passengers, 6:30am and this guy wants to absorb some
vitamin D.
Kiss. My.
Ass.
Ass.
Perhaps he
has been an asshole his entire life and has no idea how to deviate from this
behavior? Like Steve Martin in the Jerk
or Jim Carey in pretty much every movie, he goes from moment to moment
constantly doing the most inappropriate thing,
Just oblivious to the real world while continuing to disregard any
feelings or concerns of others. Yes, his ignorance must be liberating, but I
can't imagine he lives a happy life filled with tolerant people that embrace
his inability to read a room.
has been an asshole his entire life and has no idea how to deviate from this
behavior? Like Steve Martin in the Jerk
or Jim Carey in pretty much every movie, he goes from moment to moment
constantly doing the most inappropriate thing,
Just oblivious to the real world while continuing to disregard any
feelings or concerns of others. Yes, his ignorance must be liberating, but I
can't imagine he lives a happy life filled with tolerant people that embrace
his inability to read a room.
The
#Tryharder lesson in all of this? (Besides
the fact that I should have tried harder to sleep the night before?) Be aware
that you may be the asshole in the room. Take inventory on the situations you
find yourself in and apply some energy towards being emotionally intelligent to
the immediate world around you.
#Tryharder lesson in all of this? (Besides
the fact that I should have tried harder to sleep the night before?) Be aware
that you may be the asshole in the room. Take inventory on the situations you
find yourself in and apply some energy towards being emotionally intelligent to
the immediate world around you.
I would
never suggest that you conform to the world, but certainly be aware that your
asshole behavior might not be tolerated by others and the guy that got his toes
rolled over might soon have his foot buried in your ass.
never suggest that you conform to the world, but certainly be aware that your
asshole behavior might not be tolerated by others and the guy that got his toes
rolled over might soon have his foot buried in your ass.
Pull your
head out of your ass before a foot joins it.
head out of your ass before a foot joins it.